predeterminism
6ft4. geomaxxed. moneymaxxed. catmaxxed.get mogged
Before it was cos i didnt have the money, and didnt have the time cos i was working
but right now i have the money. about 5k gbp. and have the time cos i have no job
i ordered my passport. its on the way.
i need to order some hot weather clothes
but i just feel mad anxiety about going to the other side of the world alone
i think the fact i spend so much time analysing asia and SMV in asia is me just overthinking everything and analysis paralysis
i need to just go there.
but things im anxiety about is:
- what if my filipina princess doesnt meet me after i show up there then im alone in the other side of the world and know no one
- anxiety about my height cos im 5ft4 and theyre still taller than me in thailand at 5ft7.5 and philippines at 5ft5 so ill try to wear lifts but it might be impossible sometimes cos u cant wear them with shorts and people mainly wear shorts in hot weather
- feel like people will laugh at my height, cos whites are meant to be 5ft10 on avg known for being tall but im so short, even shorter than them
- feel like people will think im a weirdo. some young white british kid in some third world poverty country alone. what reason would he have to be there alone? its obvious im just a sexpat cos im 5ft4 , from 2 seconds of looking at me. or maybe im overthinking it idk. ill just tell people im travelling. the korean girl who came here did that, she obviously came for BWC and stayed in my house and we went nowhere but she was "travelling" here lol. and she wasnt seen as weird. so surely i wont be seen as weird there?
- my £5k will run out and then ill have to come home. ideally i wanted a remote job before i go so i can stay there forever and not be anxiety about waiting for my money to run out
- what will i do there alone if my filipina isnt with me? just sit in my room alone trying to get a new girl? if i want to visit tourist spots i would feel like a weirdo being alone while everyones with their couples or family
- anxiety about getting a new girl. if that filipina doesnt meet. ive got to find a new girl who ive got to show all my failos like my heigh tto and go through that horrible process again
idk whats wrong with me man. when i was 18 my gf cheated on me so i just got the first flight to Spain with no suitcase or bag just my wallet and phone.
and i had 0 anxiety back then. everything just flowed and i felt so good. found a nice place to stay there. bought clothes etc cos i brought nothing, explored the entire city by myself. ate alone everywhere. walked around handing out CVs and got a job there in a bar. then a job doing boat party sales and i was like an NT happy lad
but now i have anxiety. i think its cos ive spent like the last 3 years rotting in my room and barely social interacting. i need to get out again
but my anxiety is only in my room. when im thinking about stuff.
i have not much anxiety when im actually out meeting people or doing stuff. also if i have a drop of alcohol all that anxiety disappears and i wanna book the flight right then
if my filipina meets me some girl i spoke to for 2 years and i only really speak to her no other girls , she works from home so she can bring her laptop from the province to come live with me in the city, and we could on holiday to the beach etc.. while she works during the day. or at least have an apartment and fuck her all day while she works and go do stuff together in the evenings
ill wait for my passport to come, order some hot weather clothes, then book the flight.
or if not, ill wait until i get a remote job to book the flight and go there.
or ill just never go due to crippling manlet anxiety. who knows.
any advice? @AlexBrown84
but right now i have the money. about 5k gbp. and have the time cos i have no job
i ordered my passport. its on the way.
i need to order some hot weather clothes
but i just feel mad anxiety about going to the other side of the world alone
i think the fact i spend so much time analysing asia and SMV in asia is me just overthinking everything and analysis paralysis
i need to just go there.
but things im anxiety about is:
- what if my filipina princess doesnt meet me after i show up there then im alone in the other side of the world and know no one
- anxiety about my height cos im 5ft4 and theyre still taller than me in thailand at 5ft7.5 and philippines at 5ft5 so ill try to wear lifts but it might be impossible sometimes cos u cant wear them with shorts and people mainly wear shorts in hot weather
- feel like people will laugh at my height, cos whites are meant to be 5ft10 on avg known for being tall but im so short, even shorter than them
- feel like people will think im a weirdo. some young white british kid in some third world poverty country alone. what reason would he have to be there alone? its obvious im just a sexpat cos im 5ft4 , from 2 seconds of looking at me. or maybe im overthinking it idk. ill just tell people im travelling. the korean girl who came here did that, she obviously came for BWC and stayed in my house and we went nowhere but she was "travelling" here lol. and she wasnt seen as weird. so surely i wont be seen as weird there?
- my £5k will run out and then ill have to come home. ideally i wanted a remote job before i go so i can stay there forever and not be anxiety about waiting for my money to run out
- what will i do there alone if my filipina isnt with me? just sit in my room alone trying to get a new girl? if i want to visit tourist spots i would feel like a weirdo being alone while everyones with their couples or family
- anxiety about getting a new girl. if that filipina doesnt meet. ive got to find a new girl who ive got to show all my failos like my heigh tto and go through that horrible process again
idk whats wrong with me man. when i was 18 my gf cheated on me so i just got the first flight to Spain with no suitcase or bag just my wallet and phone.
and i had 0 anxiety back then. everything just flowed and i felt so good. found a nice place to stay there. bought clothes etc cos i brought nothing, explored the entire city by myself. ate alone everywhere. walked around handing out CVs and got a job there in a bar. then a job doing boat party sales and i was like an NT happy lad
but now i have anxiety. i think its cos ive spent like the last 3 years rotting in my room and barely social interacting. i need to get out again
but my anxiety is only in my room. when im thinking about stuff.
i have not much anxiety when im actually out meeting people or doing stuff. also if i have a drop of alcohol all that anxiety disappears and i wanna book the flight right then
if my filipina meets me some girl i spoke to for 2 years and i only really speak to her no other girls , she works from home so she can bring her laptop from the province to come live with me in the city, and we could on holiday to the beach etc.. while she works during the day. or at least have an apartment and fuck her all day while she works and go do stuff together in the evenings
ill wait for my passport to come, order some hot weather clothes, then book the flight.
or if not, ill wait until i get a remote job to book the flight and go there.
or ill just never go due to crippling manlet anxiety. who knows.
any advice? @AlexBrown84
