Advice I live in Tokyo, ask me anything

[14passport]

I sort of agree but I honestly think the woman riding the train to meet you really believes she's not going to do anything. It's not until you meet her that her desire overrides that mental block. If you make the move too early (i.e. over text) she is very likely to never meet you.

You see this with how she reacts to you trying to kiss her for example, "omg, what, are we kissing, haha, this is wrong, oh no, I can't do thiss... wait, why did you stop?" She's not playing or lying; what you're seeing is an inner struggle between loyalty and lust.

girls dont want to seem easy and make themselves believe they arent
so you need to play it right but pretty sure if she goes 1 on 1, deep down she wants it to happen and is kinda expecting it, unless she is truly dumb and innocent

 

[Rance]

you mean to tell me my jorts, sandals; and cross body bag isn’t stylish?

Cross-bags are actually extremely popular in Japan but they don't look exactly like that. They hang lower on the body, resting around the hip, and they're always black. Probably more of a "man purse" than a sling.



And yes, the chicks dig it when you attach a little plush toy to your bag.

 

[Rance]

girls dont want to seem easy and make themselves believe they arent
so you need to play it right but pretty sure if she goes 1 on 1, deep down she wants it to happen and is kinda expecting it, unless she is truly dumb and innocent

I agree but I personally think the "deep down" is very deep down and subliminal. If you're seeing a girl and she gets in a 1-on-1 situation with Chad, especially when alcohol is involved, it's over. The error wasn't that you dated a disloyal woman, but that you allowed her to get in a situation where her emotions override her logic.

Paradoxically, being controlling of your girl is also a huge turn-off for her. So relationships are an unfortunate balancing act of not seeming needy ("scarcity mindset"), but also not allowing her to get in positions where she can get seduced.

By the way, a lot of women using HelloTalk are in relationships, many even married. I have slept with a couple married women. I wouldn't do it anymore but when I first arrived in Japan I was candidly pretty much in a "fuck everything that moves" phase.

 

[BiggChungus]

good writeup. all the info checks out. thanks for the idea about the dog. it never fucking occurred to me. it's so retarded. but that's the reason sharing info is good.

one niggle, shinjuku is huge and most of it is not a nightlife center. kabukicho in particular is mostly focused around prostitution, soft prostitution, or host club type services. maybe 7/10 venues fit into this archetype. the rest, 9/10 venues, generally speaking, do not allow you to "date" as you would typically consider it. imagine smaller bars catering mostly to male business clients going with their friends. that said the venues that stand out most might be okay. as mentioned though you're going to need to speak japanese.

bar hopping is a different game than most of you will be used to. everything about it, particuarly the layout/floorplan of the bars generally makes talking to people a lot harder. you will generally speaking have to go out a lot or scout locations out before hand before you find a type of venue that works for you, generally speaking.

 

[Rance]

good writeup. all the info checks out. thanks for the idea about the dog. it never fucking occurred to me. it's so retarded. but that's the reason sharing info is good.

one niggle, shinjuku is huge and most of it is not a nightlife center. kabukicho in particular is mostly focused around prostitution, soft prostitution, or host club type services. maybe 7/10 venues fit into this archetype. the rest, 9/10 venues, generally speaking, do not allow you to "date" as you would typically consider it. imagine smaller bars catering mostly to male business clients going with their friends. that said the venues that stand out most might be okay. as mentioned though you're going to need to speak japanese.

bar hopping is a different game than most of you will be used to. everything about it, particuarly the layout/floorplan of the bars generally makes talking to people a lot harder. you will generally speaking have to go out a lot or scout locations out before hand before you find a type of venue that works for you, generally speaking.

You're right on all counts. I realize in hindsight that my game plan in Kabukicho is a little more niche than I initially considered. I adopted a kind of "I live and work in Kabukicho, just like you~" approach to gaming kyabajo and other creatures of the night. This takes some time to cultivate and isn't for everyone. If you come to Kabukicho expecting to find girls-next-door who don't party a lot, you're going to have a bad time. But the beautiful nightlife workers who are tired of ojisan clients after a long shift? They are eager to let off some steam. In a word, I act like a host. If you linger to the sunrise hours there are a ton of girls who end up at random yak bars who just want an arm to lean on and a warm bed to sleep in. I don't mean to say that all or even most of them are nightlife workers. You get a lot of "I just broke up with my boyfriend" types in Kabukicho.

Bar-hopping is great but honestly I've found it's just best to go to the big Shibuya bars (Udagawacho HUB, Tasuichi, Voyager) rather than fiddle around with the smaller ones dotted around other districts.

 

[biggunsar]

Hi all, I just joined this forum because I'm interesting in geomaxxing. Looking to move to China soon to teach English. Thought I would first provide my current experience.

I moved to Tokyo two years ago. I went to a language school and then got a job in software.

In my two years I've had a lot of good sexual experiences and dated several girls. I can tell you anything about the various areas of the city, what to do and what to avoid, things to look out for, where to have various types of fun, etc.

I also worked part-time in the nightlife in Kabukicho and I've seen a lot of scandalous shit.

My first foray into dating was with HelloTalk which was insanely effective so I can speak to that as well.

Not sure what people would be interested in hearing specifically so feel free to ask.

do you live in tokyo?

 

[Rance]

do you live in tokyo?

Yes, but I'll be leaving soon. By the end of the year for sure. I'm currently in the U.S. sorting out moving arrangements before I put in my notice.

 

[Mafumofu]

I almost never reached out first. I had too many messages to deal with.

HelloTalk shares attributes of both Instagram and Tinder:

The Instagram side: You will want to use the "Moments" feature to post interesting photos with funny little captions. They should demonstrate that you have an exciting and sophisticated life, while also relating to your home country or English language in some way. For example, I posted a photo of American Independence Day fireworks, then a photo of myself with them in the background. I explained the significance of the holiday. For another post, I just posted a photo of my dog. By doing this, you will collect likes, comments, and followers. You will be popping up on everyone's feed and they'll message you. Obviously your success will depend on how attractive you are. There is a powerful "social status" aspect here and I often received messages like "oh you're so popular on HelloTalk, I bet a bunch of pretty girls are messaging you huh."

The Tinder side: Your photos should be exactly as they would be on Tinder or any dating app. The only difference is that you should not be using overtly sexualized photos or any photos that scream you're looking for a date. No shirtless photos, flexing in the mirror, etc. (although I wouldn't use these on a dating app either tbh). Your direct messaging should be more or less how you do it on a dating app minus sexually-charged messages (you can do it if you're careful to be subtle) and with the addition of language/cultural exchange messages.

I personally tick most of the "white guy that Asian girls like" boxes like light skin, thin face, straight blond hair, blue eyes, thin and long nose. However, I am still plain looking and don't consider myself anything more than a normie in the West.

Golden advice, never bothered using moments before. Do you have any success in the west?

 

[anki]

There are also 3 great, "normal" nightclubs in Shinjuku where you'll find "normal" people. Two are in Kabukicho; one is just outside Kabukicho.

staying in Shinjuku soon, which clubs do u recommend?

 

[Meeks]

What he says about the Japanese mindset can’t be overstated.

I don’t know how you guys could possibly want to work here in Japan or in china though? The work life balance is borderline suicidal.

And shorts in Japan are super normal in summer. It’s been the hottest summer ever this year.

 

[zapababa]

Hi all, I just joined this forum because I'm interesting in geomaxxing. Looking to move to China soon to teach English. Thought I would first provide my current experience.

I moved to Tokyo two years ago. I went to a language school and then got a job in software.

In my two years I've had a lot of good sexual experiences and dated several girls. I can tell you anything about the various areas of the city, what to do and what to avoid, things to look out for, where to have various types of fun, etc.

I also worked part-time in the nightlife in Kabukicho and I've seen a lot of scandalous shit.

My first foray into dating was with HelloTalk which was insanely effective so I can speak to that as well.

Not sure what people would be interested in hearing specifically so feel free to ask.

Thanks for all the writeups in this thread, they're really good advice.

I actually moved to Tokyo around a year ago but I've been struggling a lot to meet people IRL and I don't really like the type of people I meet on apps. Clearly I'm doing something wrong because I'm not bad looking and I actually have more success in the west (where I can more easily talk to people in English and I don't have to rely on my N4 Japanese). I may have to try some of the ideas you posted. Even meeting the Kabukicho girls sounds like a fun experience.

My issue with Shibuya is that it's packed to the brim with tourists (it's way worse this year, from what I've heard) so girls will avoid you just because they think you're another rando dude on a week trip from Minnesota who doesn't speak any Japanese and will try to hit on them "American style". I've had great conversations with girls I bumped into in random outskirts of Tokyo instead, they were more genuinely curious about foreigners and less rude. But maybe I'm just bad at meeting women in general, will need to work on it.

 

[14passport]

What he says about the Japanese mindset can’t be overstated.

I don’t know how you guys could possibly want to work here in Japan or in china though? The work life balance is borderline suicidal.

And shorts in Japan are super normal in summer. It’s been the hottest summer ever this year.

That's why most people dont last there but luckily as an expat you can have much more relaxed work.

Nothing wrong with shorts during the day but it's a lot harder to dress well with them. While there's shorts that asians wear, its certainly not the ones you see on western tourists.

 

[14passport]

Thanks for all the writeups in this thread, they're really good advice.

I actually moved to Tokyo around a year ago but I've been struggling a lot to meet people IRL and I don't really like the type of people I meet on apps. Clearly I'm doing something wrong because I'm not bad looking and I actually have more success in the west (where I can more easily talk to people in English and I don't have to rely on my N4 Japanese). I may have to try some of the ideas you posted. Even meeting the Kabukicho girls sounds like a fun experience.

My issue with Shibuya is that it's packed to the brim with tourists (it's way worse this year, from what I've heard) so girls will avoid you just because they think you're another rando dude on a week trip from Minnesota who doesn't speak any Japanese and will try to hit on them "American style". I've had great conversations with girls I bumped into in random outskirts of Tokyo instead, they were more genuinely curious about foreigners and less rude. But maybe I'm just bad at meeting women in general, will need to work on it.

The OP seems to have very good game, not everyone can go and rizz night workers.

 

[biggunsar]

That's why most people dont last there but luckily as an expat you can have much more relaxed work.

Nothing wrong with shorts during the day but it's a lot harder to dress well with them. While there's shorts that asians wear, its certainly not the ones you see on western tourists.

ya, they aren't baggy big pocketed basicaly army pants without legs type of western shorts. THey are more like board shorts

 

[Rance]

Golden advice, never bothered using moments before. Do you have any success in the west?

I do okay for myself in the West but I run into the typical normie problems. Usually attracted to girls who don't like me back, and the girls who are down with it tend to be less attractive. Lucky breaks happen from time to time but not nearly enough, and they are rarely relationship material. Back in university it was different but as a working adult the romantic life is pretty lame.

Funny enough it seems that when a beautiful, kind, and mentally stable girl does like me, more often than not she's Asian. So my friends enjoy smoking me for having yellow fever. Not my choice!

 

[Rance]

staying in Shinjuku soon, which clubs do u recommend?

The best club in Shinjuku is WARP, right in front of the tower. It's similar in vibe to a Shibuya club called Atom, which I consider the best club in the city. If you can go on a weekday the cover is substantially cheaper, though this applies to most clubs.

There is a new nightclub that opened around May or June called "T2". I haven't been myself but I've heard good things.

Typical advice for a Shinjuku newbie would be to go to Golden Gai earlier in the night and meet people to roam around with. Don't bother with the hole-in-the-wall bars; hit one of the two big karaoke bars near the west entrance to Golden Gai. It's s a slum of annoying foreigners but if you're alone it can be worthwhile to link up with some like-minded tourists before hitting the clubs.

 

[Rance]

The OP seems to have very good game, not everyone can go and rizz night workers.

One thing to consider is that the language barrier can actually work in your favor when it comes to game. Even if you are an awkward person, the reality of this doesn't shine through as hard due to the cultural-linguistic gap. Being charming in the West often involves a deep comprehension of and connection to the culture of your peers. Sometimes I feel mogged just because I don't understand American Football. Conversely, when you don't "get" something in Japan it's interpreted as cute because you're "just a foreigner who is trying his best!"

Almost every opener in Tokyo has the same format. "Where are you from?", "Wow your Japanese is so good," "What other countries have you been to?", "Do you like Japanese food?", "I love hamburgers and I want to go to New York City and meet Brad Pitt." Before long you'll be practically forecasting the next words out of her mouth and instinctively chirp back with a sweet response.

In general it is very helpful that Tokyo is a city of outsiders. Even the Japanese people are typically commuting to the nightlife centers by train. Nobody knows each other. Even playing field.

 

[BeardedUnicorn]

One thing to consider is that the language barrier can actually work in your favor when it comes to game. Even if you are an awkward person, the reality of this doesn't shine through as hard due to the cultural-linguistic gap. Being charming in the West often involves a deep comprehension of and connection to the culture of your peers. Sometimes I feel mogged just because I don't understand American Football. Conversely, when you don't "get" something in Japan it's interpreted as cute because you're "just a foreigner who is trying his best!"

Almost every opener in Tokyo has the same format. "Where are you from?", "Wow your Japanese is so good," "What other countries have you been to?", "Do you like Japanese food?", "I love hamburgers and I want to go to New York City and meet Brad Pitt." Before long you'll be practically forecasting the next words out of her mouth and instinctively chirp back with a sweet response.

In general it is very helpful that Tokyo is a city of outsiders. Even the Japanese people are typically commuting to the nightlife centers by train. Nobody knows each other. Even playing field.

this is so fucking true, American girls will sniff you out if you arent a turbo normie in some designated niche (football frat bro, artfag, etc). LIterally anywhere else the process is so much smoother and none of this shit even matters

 

[Rance]

how did you find this forum

Japan subreddit (annoying normies) --> thepassportbros subreddit (LARPers and fantasizers) --> passport bro telegram (psychopaths) --> private passport bro discord (very small) --> geomax forum (based)

 

[Rance]

this is so fucking true, American girls will sniff you out if you arent a turbo normie in some designated niche (football frat bro, artfag, etc). LIterally anywhere else the process is so much smoother and none of this shit even matters

"Turbo normie" is the term I was looking for, nice. Everything is based on the social circle, and the social circles are normified beyond belief. No Brad, I don't want to hear you drone on about crypto and drink Miller Lite while watching the the football game. No Becky, you've already showed me 12 A$AP Rocky songs, I don't want to hear another.

 

[biggunsar]

this is so fucking true, American girls will sniff you out if you arent a turbo normie in some designated niche (football frat bro, artfag, etc). LIterally anywhere else the process is so much smoother and none of this shit even matters

do you want to know why women like sports guys. ALL women. I have said it many times. Women are herd creatures. They like to be in groups. Women are NOT like men. As men we have learned to be solitary. And be happy single as long as we are chasing or occasionally catching pussy.

the best way to destroy a woman. Cut her off from her friends. They will rope. Cut men off from their friends. Men will just say...fuck it, give me some vidya and beers. Im good. we are completely different.

when a woman dates a sports guy. She instantly has access to his circle of male friends, and instantly has access to his circles male friends, girlfriends.

understand? And she did basically no work to achieve all of that. Her orgasmic fantasy, more friends that she can handle.

why do girls who chase sports guys seem sluttier than the rest. Because the other girls behave the same way, because they all see each other doing this behavior and that is how women justify their behavior. "well if they do it, so can I, it cannot be that bad, right?".

women are truly herd creatures. Like deer. They will all fuck one buck if he's the most dominant in the room. and they are quite happy to do that knowing chad, is taking turns when he feels like it. Where as men want a single woman to themselves.

when women get a job, they say yaaa im independant. I dont' need a man.
when a man gets a job, he says "now i can provide for myself, and a woman and children"

we are NEVER EVER EVER going to be equal. ever.

 

[Pained4ever]

this is so fucking true, American girls will sniff you out if you arent a turbo normie in some designated niche (football frat bro, artfag, etc). LIterally anywhere else the process is so much smoother and none of this shit even matters

burger women have the strongest autism detectors on earth they can tell you're autistic before their own conception

 

[Pained4ever]

@Rance do you ever go to gamer cafes? I'm hyper-autistic and want to

 

[biggunsar]

@Rance do you ever go to gamer cafes? I'm hyper-autistic and want to

honestly i think that would be insta fun. Think about it, you automatically got a team if it's rollin that way

and eventually you got buddies. Hey bry. your back. we are kicking ass here. But could use your skills bro.

that kinda shit. Would be kinda cool

 

[Rance]

@Rance do you ever go to gamer cafes? I'm hyper-autistic and want to

I'm not big into video games myself. Well, I like games like Civilization and Rimworld, not so much anything competitive that people play at the cafes. Tried to play League of Legends and my eyes glazed over.

My friend from language school dragged me to a gaming cafe and it was pretty cool. Powerful computers, comfy chairs, free coffee and tea. I can't remember how much it was but I'm thinking 1300 yen an hour, so like 8 or 9 bucks.

Girls like video games a lot more in Japan than in the West. If you can have a Nintendo Switch at your place, it's a great activity for the "lull period" between bringing her in the door and having sex.

 

[doomercoded]

amazing post thank you, as far as dating goes how many dates would you say it takes to slay a 7 or above, are they a little more traditional like viet girls.

Secondly what is a good monthly income to seem "well off" there and have a money halo. I started my own biz so I have location freedom and am currently earning around 5k a month, I would like to have a harem of cute japansese women

Also are you able to post any photos of the girls you dated, would love to see what the average japanese girl a geomaxxer can pull looks like

 

[Rance]

amazing post thank you, as far as dating goes how many dates would you say it takes to slay a 7 or above, are they a little more traditional like viet girls.

Japanese girls are not sexually traditional at all, at least in the big cities. I would make the argument that Japan is the most sexually debauched country on the planet. There is very little importance tied to the act of sex itself. Romance and sex are discrete, separate concepts.

Pros:

• Women will sleep with you shortly after meeting you without putting much thought into it.
• Prostitution is commonplace and accepted. You'll often hear middle-aged businessmen casually yapping about the brothels they visited the previous night.
• Prostitutes tend to be, more or less, young and "typical" girls. To many, selling their bodies is not too different from working at a convenience store. Working girls are often in the industry to make their way through university. Sadly, this is also true to a lesser extent for high school girls. You'll occasionally see a high school girl walking around with a Louis Vuitton purse... yeah, her parents didn't buy her that.
• "Deviant" sexual acts are not a hard sell. For example, many women are open to threesomes.
• It is easy to maintain relationships with several women at the same time without anyone getting upset. You can be transparent about it.

Cons:

• Cheating is brutally rampant. Japanese people cheat more than anyone else in the world to my knowledge. Men visit brothels. Women have flings they meet at the bar or on dating apps (including HelloTalk). If you date multiple women you will experience it at least once, guaranteed. Additionally, because of the general subtlety and nuance of Japanese social interactions and relationships, you may not even realize it. If I were more cynical I'd say Japan is a society of liars. Smoke and mirrors. I read somewhere that 50% of marriages involve cheating but don't quote me on that.
• Converting casual sexual encounters to meaningful relationships is a rough endeavor. In Japan, I feel like a white girl feels the West. Tons of women want to fuck me for my body, but when I text them the next day, no response. Two weeks pass. No response. Then, out of the blue, I get a text like "hey what you doing tonight let's hang ". We meet up, have sex, then repeat the process. It may not sound so bad now but after you have sexual abundance you will want deeper connections, and being seen as only a sexual object feels shitty.

I am not a fan of taking street interviews at face value but there is a relevant video where a YouTuber interviews women to hear their opinions. It is mostly in line with my personal experience. You might find it enlightening:

For all of the above reasons I would generally rate Japan as a wonderful destination to visit for pleasure, but a poor location to seek long-term relationships. Don't get me started with the situation surrounding divorce. I can elaborate if you want.

I would also consider Japan a rare example of where it's better to bring the girl back to your home country rather than stay in hers.

Also note that as with any country the differences between individuals trump the societal trends. Japan is not a monolith.

Secondly what is a good monthly income to seem "well off" there and have a money halo. I started my own biz so I have location freedom and am currently earning around 5k a month, I would like to have a harem of cute japansese women

$60,000 USD per year is around 9,000,000 JPY per year. This could place you in the upper echelon of society in terms of "money halo" depending on your age.

The spending power of 9,000,000 JPY in Tokyo is similar to the spending power of $80,000 or $85,000 in a medium-sized American city. In New York City, it would probably be like $110,000 or $120,000. I know people who make substantially less and live comfortable lives while retaining their own "harems".

Also are you able to post any photos of the girls you dated, would love to see what the average japanese girl a geomaxxer can pull looks like

I will at some point.

 

[Orientalist]

Japanese girls are not sexually traditional at all, at least in the big cities. I would make the argument that Japan is the most sexually debauched country on the planet. There is very little importance tied to the act of sex itself. Romance and sex are discrete, separate concepts.

Pros:

• Women will sleep with you shortly after meeting you without putting much thought into it.
• Prostitution is commonplace and accepted. You'll often hear middle-aged businessmen casually yapping about the brothels they visited the previous night.
• Prostitutes tend to be, more or less, young and "typical" girls. To many, selling their bodies is not too different from working at a convenience store. Working girls are often in the industry to make their way through university. Sadly, this is also true to a lesser extent for high school girls. You'll occasionally see a high school girl walking around with a Louis Vuitton purse... yeah, her parents didn't buy her that.
• "Deviant" sexual acts are not a hard sell. For example, many women are open to threesomes.
• It is easy to maintain relationships with several women at the same time without anyone getting upset. You can be transparent about it.

Cons:

• Cheating is brutally rampant. Japanese people cheat more than anyone else in the world to my knowledge. Men visit brothels. Women have flings they meet at the bar or on dating apps (including HelloTalk). If you date multiple women you will experience it at least once, guaranteed. Additionally, because of the general subtlety and nuance of Japanese social interactions and relationships, you may not even realize it. If I were more cynical I'd say Japan is a society of liars. Smoke and mirrors. I read somewhere that 50% of marriages involve cheating but don't quote me on that.
• Converting casual sexual encounters to meaningful relationships is a rough endeavor. In Japan, I feel like a white girl feels the West. Tons of women want to fuck me for my body, but when I text them the next day, no response. Two weeks pass. No response. Then, out of the blue, I get a text like "hey what you doing tonight let's hang ". We meet up, have sex, then repeat the process. It may not sound so bad now but after you have sexual abundance you will want deeper connections, and being seen as only a sexual object feels shitty.

I am not a fan of taking street interviews at face value but there is a relevant video where a YouTuber interviews women to hear their opinions. It is mostly in line with my personal experience. You might find it enlightening:

For all of the above reasons I would generally rate Japan as a wonderful destination to visit for pleasure, but a poor location to seek long-term relationships. Don't get me started with the situation surrounding divorce. I can elaborate if you want.

This... is actually really believeable. But at the same time, as you may or may not know, Japan has a reputation in these circles for being one of the most difficult (Asian) countries for foreigners to pick up girls in and slay? (You also hear this kind of thing with the whole gatekeepy expat community you mentioned). Significantly higher looks requirement maybe, or do you think it's ultimately because a whole new world just opens up to you when you speak Japanese and set yourself apart from baka gaijin?
Never been there and it's not really something I necessarily bought into or thought about much until now, but now that you paint this picture, wtf are people missing here besides the aforementioned?

 

[Orientalist]

Also one time I brought back a Viet international student from the Netherlands and I straight away intuitied the similar attitude towards sex that they have there from her. Mogger night. Was wondering where I could find more of that jfl

 

[biggunsar]

Japanese girls are not sexually traditional at all, at least in the big cities. I would make the argument that Japan is the most sexually debauched country on the planet. There is very little importance tied to the act of sex itself. Romance and sex are discrete, separate concepts.

Pros:

• Women will sleep with you shortly after meeting you without putting much thought into it.
• Prostitution is commonplace and accepted. You'll often hear middle-aged businessmen casually yapping about the brothels they visited the previous night.
• Prostitutes tend to be, more or less, young and "typical" girls. To many, selling their bodies is not too different from working at a convenience store. Working girls are often in the industry to make their way through university. Sadly, this is also true to a lesser extent for high school girls. You'll occasionally see a high school girl walking around with a Louis Vuitton purse... yeah, her parents didn't buy her that.
• "Deviant" sexual acts are not a hard sell. For example, many women are open to threesomes.
• It is easy to maintain relationships with several women at the same time without anyone getting upset. You can be transparent about it.

Cons:

• Cheating is brutally rampant. Japanese people cheat more than anyone else in the world to my knowledge. Men visit brothels. Women have flings they meet at the bar or on dating apps (including HelloTalk). If you date multiple women you will experience it at least once, guaranteed. Additionally, because of the general subtlety and nuance of Japanese social interactions and relationships, you may not even realize it. If I were more cynical I'd say Japan is a society of liars. Smoke and mirrors. I read somewhere that 50% of marriages involve cheating but don't quote me on that.
• Converting casual sexual encounters to meaningful relationships is a rough endeavor. In Japan, I feel like a white girl feels the West. Tons of women want to fuck me for my body, but when I text them the next day, no response. Two weeks pass. No response. Then, out of the blue, I get a text like "hey what you doing tonight let's hang ". We meet up, have sex, then repeat the process. It may not sound so bad now but after you have sexual abundance you will want deeper connections, and being seen as only a sexual object feels shitty.

I am not a fan of taking street interviews at face value but there is a relevant video where a YouTuber interviews women to hear their opinions. It is mostly in line with my personal experience. You might find it enlightening:

For all of the above reasons I would generally rate Japan as a wonderful destination to visit for pleasure, but a poor location to seek long-term relationships. Don't get me started with the situation surrounding divorce. I can elaborate if you want.

I would also consider Japan a rare example of where it's better to bring the girl back to your home country rather than stay in hers.

Also note that as with any country the differences between individuals trump the societal trends. Japan is not a monolith.



$60,000 USD per year is around 9,000,000 JPY per year. This could place you in the upper echelon of society in terms of "money halo" depending on your age.

The spending power of 9,000,000 JPY in Tokyo is similar to the spending power of $80,000 or $85,000 in a medium-sized American city. In New York City, it would probably be like $110,000 or $120,000. I know people who make substantially less and live comfortable lives while retaining their own "harems".



I will at some point.

i saw a youtube of a guy like this, asking "if your husband went to a prostitute, is that cheating" and now he could have edited only the positive out. but every woman said "no, it's not cheating" wtf.

 

[Rance]

This... is actually really believeable. But at the same time, as you may or may not know, Japan has a reputation in these circles for being one of the most difficult (Asian) countries for foreigners to pick up girls in and slay? (You also hear this kind of thing with the whole gatekeepy expat community you mentioned). Significantly higher looks requirement maybe, or do you think it's ultimately because a whole new world just opens up to you when you speak Japanese and set yourself apart from baka gaijin?
Never been there and it's not really something I necessarily bought into or thought about much until now, but now that you paint this picture, wtf are people missing here besides the aforementioned?

Obligatory disclaimer that I fit the looks standard for Japan.



Bonus points if you know who the last guy is. I'm probably about as attractive as the young Bob Odenkirk (third photo).

There's a certain set of features that do really well:

• Thin facial portrait, gauntness
• Long, tall, and thin nose (long = protruding from face; tall = vertical height)
• "Pointy" features in general including the chin and nose, less bulky and more angular
• Larger forehead (bad in the West; neutral in Japan)
• Less defined or more recessed chin area (very bad in the West; only slightly bad in Japan)
• Slender bodily bone structure even at the expense of narrower shoulders (bad in the West; good in Japan)
• Light-colored hair (obvious)
• Light-colored eyes (obvious)
• No facial hair (not an immutable trait but I thought it was worth including)
• Hair on your head. Even if your hairline sucks, enough to cover it up.
• Not overweight

Not to go all looksmaxx nerd on you but it's exceedingly important to consider where your physical features are most valued. I'm a 6.5 at best in the United States but I believe I'm a solid 8 in Japan. If I went to Brazil I'd get blown the fuck out because the standards are opposite; I'd probably be a 4.

If you tick even half of the bullet points above you should be considering Japan for sure. I'm aware that some of them exclude non-white guys which fucking sucks but it's the reality. The exception is if you can pass as East Asian you play by a COMPLETELY different set of rules which I'm less familiar with.

As you say, the rest is based on speaking Japanese, being familiar with the society, and not being a baka gaijin. I would guess that most of the negative reports from Japan fall into one of three categories:

1. Physical appearance expectations mismatchers. Just like my SMV increased by coming to Japan, for others, it decreases or stays the same. The only advice I can give these guys is to target the fetishizers as much as possible, especially for black guys. Use HelloTalk BEFORE you come to Japan. Have dates lined up.
   
   
2. Unprepared tourists. The ones who treat Japan like it's the Philippines with their sandals and sunglasses, cruising on muscles, money, and of course, JBW. This is a caricature though. Some of these guys actually do fit the looks standard and have a decent understanding of Japan coming in. The problem is that they aren't staying here longer than two or three weeks, and by the time they finally start to "get it", they have to take a plane home. Don't come to Japan for less than three weeks, and if you must, don't leave Tokyo. Your first week here will probably be shit for luck.
   
   
3. Weeaboos. 80% of language school students are weeaboos, and at least 10% are perpetually unprepared tourists. Anime, manga, and video games are great and I was surprised how much average Japanese people liked them, but you need to realize that Japanese people are normies too. Cool girls like rap music. Dress well and fit in.

Above all else, I do not recommend Japan as a geomaxxing location. My advice is intended for people who decide to come to Japan for other reasons and want to make the most of their time here. There are far too many nagging downsides and not enough potent advantages to consider it above the likes of Thailand or China. Yes, you will probably do better than in the West, but that's hardly saying much.

 

[EEmaxxer]

@Rance , massive respect for this thread. You dropped sooo much value on this thread. Wished there was a way to give you forum props. lolz

One question: On average, what do you see how well a normie tier guy do in Japan? Let's say he is a 5 (MTN albeit well presented and styled out), okay language skills, and he puts the average effort into dating...is he able to pull 6s (HTBs) at least semi-consistently? Or is he pulling mostly his looksmatch? How hard would it be for him to date a 7 (Stacey-lite)?

 

[DreadPirateRoberts]

is 5’8 too short for Japanese girls?

 

[Pained4ever]

is 5’8 too short for Japanese girls?

5'8 isn't even short

 

[14passport]

is 5’8 too short for Japanese girls?

it's the average height there

 

[14passport]

have you been to thailand or china yet?
to compare difficulty level vs Japan

which countries you have visited have been harder or easier?

 

[DreadPirateRoberts]

5'8 isn't even short

i’ve no idea why tallfags always gaslight us short kings

 

[Pained4ever]

i’ve no idea why tallfags always gaslight us short kings

well anything below 6'6 is short but not too short to get laid. that's like 5'5 and below

 

[AlexBrown84]

have you been to thailand or china yet?
to compare difficulty level vs Japan

which countries you have visited have been harder or easier?

china is easiest for me but i have recency bias and looked the best compared to when i went to the other two

 

[Pained4ever]

china is easiest for me but i have recency bias and looked the best compared to when i went to the other two

what have you done to looksmax

 

[Pained4ever]

what have you done to looksmax

besides all the pills that prob make leanmaxxing easier

 

[Orientalist]

yea uniqlo sells them

the airism line i believe

good for normie westerners that have no style and want to fit in

but for me that retail stuff doesn’t cut it for me anymore

i need vintage everything

View attachment WuRyiKs5KkSQMM9k.mp4
If I don't step out of Tokyo looking like the 2nd guy I failed

 

[anki]

View attachment 8701
If I don't step out of Tokyo looking like the 2nd guy I failed

terrible fit worse haircut

 

[Rance]

@Rance , massive respect for this thread. You dropped sooo much value on this thread. Wished there was a way to give you forum props. lolz

One question: On average, what do you see how well a normie tier guy do in Japan? Let's say he is a 5 (MTN albeit well presented and styled out), okay language skills, and he puts the average effort into dating...is he able to pull 6s (HTBs) at least semi-consistently? Or is he pulling mostly his looksmatch? How hard would it be for him to date a 7 (Stacey-lite)?

Japan isn't all that different from any other country in that men are unlikely to hit above their SMV. The change is that the standards for SMV are different as I outlined above. Japan SMV standards are largely more lenient so I would guess the average white guy will increase his SMV by at least 1 point by coming to Japan.

However, I have a crackpot theory that Japanese women have "facial blindness" for foreigners due to not seeing them as much. You know the old belief in the West that "all Asians look the same"? I believe it's found in people who don't interact with Asians very often. By the same token, Japanese women are not as keen in differentiating foreigners who live on the the upper half of the looks decile scale. Just looking vaguely similar to an attractive person of your ethnicity may do it for you.



If I went by United States SMV standards, then I do see a lot of 5 MTNs walking arm-in-arm with 7s and 8s. I have also witnessed the bewilderment from foreign female tourists which is funny to see. I am not vitriolic about this like some are but seeing Becky from London get flustered that an "uglier" guy has a Japanese girlfriend who is cuter than her, that's an interesting sight.

As a final note, it's a numbers game, and I don't mean the decile scale. By going out often you'll see exceptions in both directions. I've been shot down by plenty of 5s, but also had 9s who immediately wanted to share a bed (and then promptly ghosted me, but whatever).

 

[Rance]

is 5’8 too short for Japanese girls?

I am 5'9" and never thought about my height before in either a good or bad way. There's never been a situation where I thought "damn I wish I was taller right now" outside of maybe crowded nightclub environments where mogging with physical stature is a thing. When I go to the train station I still see over basically everyone's heads. Any additional height I could have would be firmly in "nice to have" territory.

5'8" isn't all that different. It's probably similar to being 5'9.5" in the West.

Not only is the average height a bit shorter in Japan, but the "profile" of an attractive man does not rely as starkly on height. The ideal man in the West is big, strong, broad, wide shoulders, square jaw, loud, confident, bold. Physically and psychologically imposing. The ideal man in Japan is softer, gentler, and cuter, and more subdued. You can imagine how physical stature does not carry quite the same importance.

When you go out, wear thicker-soled shoes. These would be basically any leather dress shoe, or some particular brands of sneaker like Airforces. Could also slip 1cm inserts in there and nobody will notice. You will see Japanese guys, including hosts, wearing these ludicrously pumped up boots that make them 6cm+ taller. Nobody cares.

On dating apps, if you choose to include height in your bio, add 3cm to your height unless you're 176cm in which case you should add 4cm to become 180cm.

 

[Rance]

View attachment 8701
If I don't step out of Tokyo looking like the 2nd guy I failed

Bro looks like a divorced homeless club promoter in Shibuya

 

[anki]

On dating apps, if you choose to include height in your bio, add 3cm to your height unless you're 176cm in which case you should add 4cm to become 180cm.

do u think i should include height on hellotalk if im 190cm or is it too shameless since its not that kind of app

 

[Rance]

do u think i should include height on hellotalk if im 190cm or is it too shameless since its not that kind of app

Better not include it anywhere. But you should absolutely get some photos that make it obvious you're tall.

You could also slip in a conversation that would allow you to naturally bring it up: "I heard doorways are smaller in Japan, is that true? I hope I can fit through them "

 

[14passport]

Japan isn't all that different from any other country in that men are unlikely to hit above their SMV. The change is that the standards for SMV are different as I outlined above. Japan SMV standards are largely more lenient so I would guess the average white guy will increase his SMV by at least 1 point by coming to Japan.

However, I have a crackpot theory that Japanese women have "facial blindness" for foreigners due to not seeing them as much. You know the old belief in the West that "all Asians look the same"? I believe it's found in people who don't interact with Asians very often. By the same token, Japanese women are not as keen in differentiating foreigners who live on the the upper half of the looks decile scale. Just looking vaguely similar to an attractive person of your ethnicity may do it for you.

View attachment 8702

If I went by United States SMV standards, then I do see a lot of 5 MTNs walking arm-in-arm with 7s and 8s. I have also witnessed the bewilderment from foreign female tourists which is funny to see. I am not vitriolic about this like some are but seeing Becky from London get flustered that an "uglier" guy has a Japanese girlfriend who is cuter than her, that's an interesting sight.

As a final note, it's a numbers game, and I don't mean the decile scale. By going out often you'll see exceptions in both directions. I've been shot down by plenty of 5s, but also had 9s who immediately wanted to share a bed (and then promptly ghosted me, but whatever).

It's not a crackpot theory at all, it has to do with the cross race effect https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cross-race_effect

i would add that when you date in cultures that are so different as the US is to Japan, you inevitably have your own standards that are heavily influenced by your own culture, and many times what you value, is different from whats commonly seen as attractive in the other country

as an example, if i were to show one of those kpop idols or japanese hosts that are considered a 10/10 there, many of my girl friends would find them ugly, and would prefer to date a western 7/10 guy that goes to the gym and has a beard
why? because those idols have a very different beauty style

it applies to all aspects of life, why is japanese sushi in the west made with cheese, avocado and mayo?
because of the preferences in taste we have in the west, real sushi is often seen as having too strong of a fish flavor and didnt work as well

i could also see how some guys in the west that are kinda awkward and considered boring, would be seen as kawaii in Japan, and align a lot more with what japanese girls like

and it goes both ways, there's plenty of times foreigners are made fun of because they go after girls that are not traditionally beautiful in those countries, for example darker girls in SEA which are considered ugly, but appreciated by westerners

though I would say there's a minimum level that's attractive everywhere
things such as being tall, being fit, having good fasion, good job, etc... is appreciated everywhere
so no, dont think being fat is gonna be seen as exotic

 

[BeardedUnicorn]

I am 5'9" and never thought about my height before in either a good or bad way. There's never been a situation where I thought "damn I wish I was taller right now" outside of maybe crowded nightclub environments where mogging with physical stature is a thing. When I go to the train station I still see over basically everyone's heads. Any additional height I could have would be firmly in "nice to have" territory.

5'8" isn't all that different. It's probably similar to being 5'9.5" in the West.

Not only is the average height a bit shorter in Japan, but the "profile" of an attractive man does not rely as starkly on height. The ideal man in the West is big, strong, broad, wide shoulders, square jaw, loud, confident, bold. Physically and psychologically imposing. The ideal man in Japan is softer, gentler, and cuter, and more subdued. You can imagine how physical stature does not carry quite the same importance.

When you go out, wear thicker-soled shoes. These would be basically any leather dress shoe, or some particular brands of sneaker like Airforces. Could also slip 1cm inserts in there and nobody will notice. You will see Japanese guys, including hosts, wearing these ludicrously pumped up boots that make them 6cm+ taller. Nobody cares.

On dating apps, if you choose to include height in your bio, add 3cm to your height unless you're 176cm in which case you should add 4cm to become 180cm.

manlet lifefuel