putting effort into messages is jestering

[geneblackman]

you really shouldn't be sending out first messages at all in an ideal world but if it's over one sentence long with an emoji or exclamation point then you're jestering. women are doing the choosing now and if you're sending a message that's just "hey how are you" then this is a low preselection signal. the effortpill is brutal in 2026 and you can all thank indians, pakis turks, italians and arabs for that

 

[AlexBrown84]

nah bro you just gotta rizz them, optimize your profile, use ai, and have funny catchy prompts

 

[14passport]

you really shouldn't be sending out first messages at all in an ideal world but if it's over one sentence long with an emoji or exclamation point then you're jestering. women are doing the choosing now and if you're sending a message that's just "hey how are you" then this is a low preselection signal. the effortpill is brutal in 2026 and you can all thank indians, pakis turks, italians and arabs for that

it is but what can you do?
you are either very attractive or need to jester with your messages

 

[geneblackman]

it is but what can you do?
you are either very attractive or need to jester with your messages

it's understandable that first messages need to be sent out but they need to be casual and they have to be somewhat demeaning in the sense that she needs to think you're sending these messages out just to kill time until your main bitch responds back

 

[14passport]

it's understandable that first messages need to be sent out but they need to be casual and they have to be somewhat demeaning in the sense that she needs to think you're sending these messages out just to kill time until your main bitch responds back

you need a minimum level of being performative and jestering if you want good results
and it doesnt have to take a lot of time to send something good that stands out from 99% of guys being sexual on the first message or sending hi/how r u

you just need to be smart about it, see what works for you and be realistic and filter

 

[OnlyWs]

yup but water

 

[Xavist]

you really shouldn't be sending out first messages at all in an ideal world but if it's over one sentence long with an emoji or exclamation point then you're jestering. women are doing the choosing now and if you're sending a message that's just "hey how are you" then this is a low preselection signal. the effortpill is brutal in 2026 and you can all thank indians, pakis turks, italians and arabs for that

I almost always see at least one sand or curry commenting on some Asian girl’s post on HelloTalk, so yeah lol

 

[geneblackman]

I almost always see at least one sand or curry commenting on some Asian girl’s post on HelloTalk, so yeah lol

if you click on their profiles most of the time they end up banned too jfl

 

[Autisticpleighboi]

you really shouldn't be sending out first messages at all in an ideal world but if it's over one sentence long with an emoji or exclamation point then you're jestering. women are doing the choosing now and if you're sending a message that's just "hey how are you" then this is a low preselection signal. the effortpill is brutal in 2026 and you can all thank indians, pakis turks, italians and arabs for that

This. Used to be in a PUA grifters discord and most of us ended up coming to the conclusion that the girls that the text game worked on, would’ve been dtf either way and the ones it didn’t work on, wouldn’t have been receptive to other jester lines

 

[14passport]

This. Used to be in a PUA grifters discord and most of us ended up coming to the conclusion that the girls that the text game worked on, would’ve been dtf either way and the ones it didn’t work on, wouldn’t have been receptive to other jester lines

i wouldnt use PUA grifters discord as a baseline to test any theory, their text game sucks

yes it's true that there's women that will be down to fuck no matter what you send them, and there's the opposite, some that will never fuck with you no matter how good you are at texting

but most women are somewhere in the middle
and if you understand the female gaze, you should know they hate dick pics, they hate "hey how r u", they hate opening messages asking for something sexual... even if the guy is hot, most high value women will unmatch or ghost as soon as you do some shit like that
(if your match sends you the first message and asks for a date quickly, or make sexual jokes, then dont be stupid and match her tone and rythm)

obviously if you are chad and only care about fucking pussy, then yeah, you can get away with shitty text game and fuck average girls
or if you are in SEA and message the 100 likes you get per day, there's gonna be desperate girls that will be down to fuck
but its not gonna be very high quality

if you want to get some of the hotter girls and/or interesting, with good style, fun...
you gotta have to jester, at the very least to guage interest and make them feel its safe to meet you, and will be a fun time (not just you trying to fuck any girl you can)

 

[Autisticpleighboi]

i wouldnt use PUA grifters discord as a baseline to test any theory, their text game sucks

yes it's true that there's women that will be down to fuck no matter what you send them, and there's the opposite, some that will never fuck with you no matter how good you are at texting

but most women are somewhere in the middle
and if you understand the female gaze, you should know they hate dick pics, they hate "hey how r u", they hate opening messages asking for something sexual... even if the guy is hot, most high value women will unmatch or ghost as soon as you do some shit like that
(if your match sends you the first message and asks for a date quickly, or make sexual jokes, then dont be stupid and match her tone and rythm)

obviously if you are chad and only care about fucking pussy, then yeah, you can get away with shitty text game and fuck average girls
or if you are in SEA and message the 100 likes you get per day, there's gonna be desperate girls that will be down to fuck
but its not gonna be very high quality

if you want to get some of the hotter girls and/or interesting, with good style, fun...
you gotta have to jester, at the very least to guage interest and make them feel its safe to meet you, and will be a fun time (not just you trying to fuck any girl you can)

Yeah but then you have to keep jestering to get Chad treatment because she only likes you if you fit this very specific personality archetype

But with the girls that are highly attracted, you’ll get Chad treatment even if you don’t exactly fit their preferred personality archetype and have more freedom to be yourself. If anything they start changing they’re personality for you and adopting some of your interests, hobbies, music taste, lingo, etc. She becomes the jester

That’s ideal

 

[14passport]

Yeah but then you have to keep jestering to get Chad treatment because she only likes you if you fit this very specific personality archetype

But with the girls that are highly attracted, you’ll get Chad treatment even if you don’t exactly fit their preferred personality archetype and have more freedom to be yourself. If anything they start changing they’re personality for you and adopting some of your interests, hobbies, music taste, lingo, etc. She becomes the jester

That’s ideal

I disagree, you just need to show some interest and put some effort into texting, i promise you its not that bad
you don't need to go full jester mode, and be there texting for weeks, writing 30 lines long paragraphs
im just saying you need to show some geniune interest before asking them on a date, and if they are also interested when they text back, you know you have high chances of getting a date and having good results

and yeah ideally you get chad treatment
ideally i would be 6'4, rich, and handsome but unfortunately the world doesnt give a fuck about what we want
if you only want to date those that reply to your "how r u" or some sexual pickup line, go for it but dont expect good results

 

[Autisticpleighboi]

I disagree, you just need to show some interest and put some effort into texting, i promise you its not that bad
you don't need to go full jester mode, and be there texting for weeks, writing 30 lines long paragraphs
im just saying you need to show some geniune interest before asking them on a date, and if they are also interested when they text back, you know you have high chances of getting a date and having good results

and yeah ideally you get chad treatment
ideally i would be 6'4, rich, and handsome but unfortunately the world doesnt give a fuck about what we want
if you only want to date those that reply to your "how r u" or some sexual pickup line, go for it but dont expect good results

I don’t think anyone here is proposing to do the absolute bare minimum like “how r u” and “wanna hu” , we are just saying that if basic text game sequence (simple concise opener, build rapport, light flirt, ask out/plan date) isn’t cutting it, then move onto higher interest leads. Any jestering further than that is a waste of time

 

[14passport]

I don’t think anyone here is proposing to do the absolute bare minimum like “how r u” and “wanna hu” , we are just saying that if basic text game sequence (simple concise opener, build rapport, light flirt, ask out/plan date) isn’t cutting it, then move onto higher interest leads. Any jestering further than that is a waste of time

that's literally the title of this thread

but yeah i agree with your points, i thought you were advocating to put in 0 effort and just do a "how are you"