geneblackman
Well-known Member
- Jun 4, 2025
- 1,319
- 1,739
laying out some of the main problems off rip:
an insular culture, a socially distrusting people, worst english proficiency in the whole developed world and probably even worse than tier 1 chinese cities and moscow, too many social rules, massive rates of ghosting, incredibly shy and reserved (inb4 if you were chad they would open their legs on the spot)
i think as a whole they find themselves attracted to foreigners but the culture clash is too great. you have to act like you're feeding a bird in the wild where you need to be very careful and if you get too close to quick it's gone. then you have koreans/taiwanese who are more open and chinese who are extremely open
@Rance said it best in one of his posts that's always stuck with me in that japanese girls want a japanese guy in a foreigner's body. this in and of itself is a massive feat and something that rings true. sometimes even that won't work because just being a foreigner is enough to make them nervous
an anecdote i have is how a good looking friend of mine has lived in japan for years and would continuously get ghosted despite having many dates. it basically took him two years of actively trying to find a girlfriend between his work and other hobbies to find one that would stay. can many people justify this much effort?
on the otherhand, you have gaijin hunters who speak english but that's like a participation trophy.
unless you have a japanese fetish or actually live there i'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to just go elsewhere. on different forums the stories are all the same too: once you get married or have a LTR there's a big chance she'll change and become more cold
an insular culture, a socially distrusting people, worst english proficiency in the whole developed world and probably even worse than tier 1 chinese cities and moscow, too many social rules, massive rates of ghosting, incredibly shy and reserved (inb4 if you were chad they would open their legs on the spot)
i think as a whole they find themselves attracted to foreigners but the culture clash is too great. you have to act like you're feeding a bird in the wild where you need to be very careful and if you get too close to quick it's gone. then you have koreans/taiwanese who are more open and chinese who are extremely open
@Rance said it best in one of his posts that's always stuck with me in that japanese girls want a japanese guy in a foreigner's body. this in and of itself is a massive feat and something that rings true. sometimes even that won't work because just being a foreigner is enough to make them nervous
an anecdote i have is how a good looking friend of mine has lived in japan for years and would continuously get ghosted despite having many dates. it basically took him two years of actively trying to find a girlfriend between his work and other hobbies to find one that would stay. can many people justify this much effort?
on the otherhand, you have gaijin hunters who speak english but that's like a participation trophy.
unless you have a japanese fetish or actually live there i'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to just go elsewhere. on different forums the stories are all the same too: once you get married or have a LTR there's a big chance she'll change and become more cold