then dont post about it here and get advice from black pill doomers. go to a social group, join some clubs, get some hobbies, and most imporantly talk to a trained professional about steps you can take in the moment to get you through hard situations based on how your specific brain works. there's light at the end of the tunnel you're not even old enough to join the marines and doom posting here asking for help isn't gonna get you the help you are searching for fuck it'll probz make you more depressed tbh