Geomax Current mood: too much to handle on Tinder

[geneblackman]

Same deal with Bumble. Just browser + VPN + GPS spoofer. I used a US number just fine. Lifetime costs $47 which is cheaper than 1 month in the US kek. and 6 months costs $33. I just felt the need to write this quick guide down for posterity if anyone reading this is yet to make an account (or those who think remaking accounts is a good strategy for resetting ELO - who knows).

I too will soon report on the landscape in China in the big 25... Meeting with a ABG off Hellotalk soon......

What gps spoofer do you recommend? Have you tried Singapore or Malayasia yet?

What's ABG? I'm meeting with a Chinese woman from HT soon also. I hope your meeting goes well

 

[Orientalist]

What gps spoofer do you recommend? Have you tried Singapore or Malayasia yet?

Just go to the first chrome extension and then test it out on a website like https://webbrowsertools.com/geolocation/. Malaysia is probably pretty cheap but I'd completely avoid having your location be in Singapore since the whole pricing changes is based on COL/income in each country

What's ABG? I'm meeting with a Chinese woman from HT soon also. I hope your meeting goes well

ABG / Asian Baby Girl | Know Your Meme

ABG is an acronym that stands for Asian Baby Girl or Asian Baby Gangster. The slang term originates from American gang-affiliated subcultures in the 1990s,

knowyourmeme.com

But in all seriousness it's just my shorthand for a girl that's lived abroad and is obviously westernized and has a western style of makeup/fashion/mannerisms, as opposed to Chinese-coded femininity which is usually very dainty and princess-esque. You see this to a certain extent all the time in Shanghai. It honestly sometimes gets to the point where you can guess if a girl has lived aborad in the West for a while just from a single picture

 

[F_Wilks]

having a GPS spoofer

Which GPS spoofer app are you using? There are a lot of GPS spoofer apps out there, but they all seem to suck.

Edit: Nevermind. I scrolled.

 

[Orientalist]

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE TRANS BITCHES!!!! ON REDNOTE TOO THEY STARTED APPEARING TO TAUNT ME

 

[Orientalist]

@Rance thoughts on going on a first date with a girl by going to a bar she works at? Sounds like something right up your alley. The bar isn't really in a relevant area at all so I'm not entirely sure it's "worth it" in the sense of understanding any local scenes, so I'm not sure if this is some kind of golden opportunity or if we're better off meeting somewhere neutral - you said you like to have a "home turf" and I assume it's better than nothing if you're with someone who knows the place.
It's OVER there if she doesn't like me though obviously lol.
(And to clarify by "work there" I'm sure she's a bartender/server or whatever - if that wasn't clear. Not one of those scams in Vietnam where some girl pretending to be unaffiliated makes you buy $1000 bottles of liquor lol)

 

[Rance]

@Rance thoughts on going on a first date with a girl by going to a bar she works at? Sounds like something right up your alley. The bar isn't really in a relevant area at all so I'm not entirely sure it's "worth it" in the sense of understanding any local scenes, so I'm not sure if this is some kind of golden opportunity or if we're better off meeting somewhere neutral - you said you like to have a "home turf" and I assume it's better than nothing if you're with someone who knows the place.
It's OVER there if she doesn't like me though obviously lol.
(And to clarify by "work there" I'm sure she's a bartender/server or whatever - if that wasn't clear. Not one of those scams in Vietnam where some girl pretending to be unaffiliated makes you buy $1000 bottles of liquor lol)

Sounds fun, do it. This is even better than "home turf advantage" because it gives you a clear agenda. She'll want to show you the bar, you can ask for recommended drinks, ask what kind of people come around to this bar, say you'll bring friends there, etc.

 

[practicaleagle]

Sounds fun, do it. This is even better than "home turf advantage" because it gives you a clear agenda. She'll want to show you the bar, you can ask for recommended drinks, ask what kind of people come around to this bar, say you'll bring friends there, etc.

How do you feel about those going to one of those table clubs in China? even in the smaller tier 2/3s in china I maybe have like 1 match every couple of days if I'm lucky so I guess my SMV isn't that high, I personally don't have any luck in clubs either despite going with a group of chinese and speaking chinese so I'm wondering if they aren't that interested in foreigners or if it's a PSL issue.

 

[Rance]

How do you feel about those going to one of those table clubs in China? even in the smaller tier 2/3s in china I maybe have like 1 match every couple of days if I'm lucky so I guess my SMV isn't that high, I personally don't have any luck in clubs either despite going with a group of chinese and speaking chinese so I'm wondering if they aren't that interested in foreigners or if it's a PSL issue.

Haven't been to a table club, or any real club yet for that matter. But I think it's a good idea. I get approached often at bars and even restaurants. And once outside my house. Unclear if these girls were sexually into me but they were certainly interested in talking to me. One invited me out to karaoke with all of her friends, which I did last Saturday, and all of them keep spamming my WeChat asking to hang out again.

If you're not being bombarded with attention, something's definitely off. It may in fact be that you get less attention in clubs than elsewhere. I don't know.

 

[Orientalist]

Haven't been to a table club, or any real club yet for that matter. But I think it's a good idea.

Do you think bars are the best venues for approaching? Clubs seem like they'd be the easiest, although I definitely don't like not being able to hear anyone

If you're not being bombarded with attention, something's definitely off. It may in fact be that you get less attention in clubs than elsewhere. I don't know.

But yeah pretty true at least in principle if you're decent looking. I was bored one Saturday with no plans and before I even left the metro station at the main area, I got asked for my wechat by some LTB, but she had a HTB friend with her so I just asked "where are you going" and next thing you know I tagged along. It's that easy

even in the smaller tier 2/3s in china I maybe have like 1 match every couple of days

I think this is normal ngl. And you say "even" but a tier 3 city probably has like no users lol

 

[practicaleagle]

Do you think bars are the best venues for approaching? Clubs seem like they'd be the easiest, although I definitely don't like not being able to hear anyone

But yeah pretty true at least in principle if you're decent looking. I was bored one Saturday with no plans and before I even left the metro station at the main area, I got asked for my wechat by some LTB, but she had a HTB friend with her so I just asked "where are you going" and next thing you know I tagged along. It's that easy

I think this is normal ngl. And you say "even" but a tier 3 city probably has like no users lol

Yeah I lived in china for a year and go frequently and that thing where women approached me didnt happen even once, though I saw it happen to my korean friends.
I will say, I am ethnic so that might change things.

 

[AlexBrown84]

Yeah I lived in china for a year and go frequently and that thing where women approached me didnt happen even once, though I saw it happen to my korean friends.
I will say, I am ethnic so that might change things.

which city did you live in

 

[practicaleagle]

which city did you live in

which city did you live in

Suzhou, though I've been around a bunch of different cities

 

[Rance]

Do you think bars are the best venues for approaching? Clubs seem like they'd be the easiest, although I definitely don't like not being able to hear anyone

My city doesn't have any Western-style nightclubs frequented by Chinese. There are only two, which I haven't been to yet, but the consensus from the people I've met is that they're mostly kickback spots for expats. So mostly foreign students, of which there are a lot (many go to Zhejiang University). Point is, sadly I won't be able to provide data points for this one.

Bars are good. Find bars that have... a bar... the long counter with stools. The M.O. is to grab a drink and chat with the bartender, then turn head and say something to the girl.

But yeah pretty true at least in principle if you're decent looking. I was bored one Saturday with no plans and before I even left the metro station at the main area, I got asked for my wechat by some LTB, but she had a HTB friend with her so I just asked "where are you going" and next thing you know I tagged along. It's that easy

Yeah I lived in china for a year and go frequently and that thing where women approached me didnt happen even once, though I saw it happen to my korean friends.
I will say, I am ethnic so that might change things.

Seems like the attention you will get can be expressed as the area of a rectangle, where the x-axis is your SMV and the y-axis is how "white white" you are. That was a clunky way of explaining it but you know what I mean.

Just search for illustrations of white people in your target language... like イラストや外人 in the case of Japanese... and you'll find the ideal stereotypical "white"

 

[Orientalist]

Drunk ramblings date report: FAILURE but redemption is possible. Read it in one go and you get the idea

This girl off Bumble seemed to give off the impression right from the beginning that she found me intimidatingly handsome. We found a lot of stuff to relate about to talk about on wechat the days leading up, but details schmetials. She had a really hot style (one of the main things I look for) and yet also seemed very universally attractive like she could be some kind of TV star. She seemed kind of high class overall so I swapped my fit from a more platonic date earlier that day to something more formal and acted a bit more mature and came in there knowing I'd be leading way since I knew she'd be nervous. Spoiler alert is that this often acts in my detriment. (Spoiler alert) one too many times I've been alone with a girl thinking I sealed the deal and then she actually thinks I wasn't that interested in her or something and wasn't expecting me to escalate even though I in my head thought it was pretty obvious we both found each other hot.

We met at a super chill, hidden bar (my kind of venue, since I like actually hearing people and usually there are less turbo-normies which is nice in China where popular places are often crowded to the brim) and we were the only ones there after a while. She was really nervous - especially since her English wasn't amazing. This is basically a universal excuse most girls have so it'll be pretty crazy if/when I get to B1/B2 mandarin because I can tell girls will open up a lot - talk about motivation. She mentioned how she liked to go clubbing - her style was kinda hooker-ish for lack of a more euphemistic way of saying it; the classic girl who goes clubbing a lot. Hella wechat moments, A lot of IOIs/compliments and she was right up against me the whole time. So all things considered I thought I had this in the fucking bag like I've never seen before, basically every signal was telling me she wanted to hook up (there's more context that would be hard to explain in the type of stuff we talked about on wechat before and the jokes she made, just trust me bro)

I led the conversation for the most part but there's nothing wrong with that if she's introverted. At one point she said she was getting dizzy because she hadn't drank in a while so this threw me off a bit. I kinda planned on going to another bar; we were looking at the map a lot and talking about bars, clubs, etc. a lot of the time so that she could also feed me information - I didn't have another place in mind so I basically gave her the choice (better to just ask yes/no than give choices but whatever) of walking around and going to another bar or checking out my apartment (which I mentioned earlier; "it's pretty nice, I'm decorating it, blablabla') and she pretty readily said she'd like to go to my apartment. So we left after only just an hour of meeting. She was honestly still nervous but, to be honest, I figured she was horny for days, and we could walk it off on the way to my place.

Once we got there, I subconsciously knew that if she didn't "know" then it was probably over, because it's not like I had glasses of wine and I had on idea how to even use the TV to put on a movie or whatever. One of the only things I said after sitting down was like "yeah I don't even know how to use the TV, I've never turned it on" "you want to turn on the TV?" "no... we don't have too..." and so I basically just went right for it and put my arm around her shoulder and stuff but she instantly wasn't receptive at all. Everything started crumbling.

She basically gave exactly what little I remember of a JAV video or something @Rance posted once where she starts shaking her head and acting all cold. I don't remember a lot of the advice at overcoming last-minute resistance (reading @myeyes threads has a lot of "of fucking course" moments right now - I realize I probably should have gone in for a kiss on the neck or something but I guess that felt a little rapey to me in the moment or something jfl) besides to just... kind of ignore the whole head shaking thing and keep going. I kept rubbing her neck, back of her head, brushing her hair while giving fuck me/puppy eyes (not I'm going to rape you eyes) all while intermittently talking a bit (which killed the vibe a bit in retrospect - why wouldn't it - but it felt necessary to lower the anxiety which I subconsciously knew I definitely had to do, while still keeping what sexual polarity was built up (which I thought I had plenty of)), and she was saying stuff like "how many other girls have you done this with?" or "is this normal for you? To be like this the first night you meet someone" and put into her translate app "I didn't know this is what we were going to be doing" but in my head it's like WTF DID YOU EXPECT, A REAL ESTATE TOUR? I DIDN'T EVEN SAY WATCH A MOVIE, I JUST SAID COME OVER LOL.

Her body language really was no't "scared" or closed off at all, I guess moreso like this was some moral dilemma. I kept trying to smooth talk her and said stuff like "you don't have to do anything you don't want to do" to seem less manipulative or whatever, but still no dice. I asked if she wanted to just go back to another bar and keep hanging out for a while since we understandably have only been talking for a fucking hour, but she said she just wanted to go home. She was texting her friend on Wechat a bit the whole date, and when I saw her send a picture of the living room we were in during this, that cortisol spiked me for some reason, so I kind of just felt like a rapist and gave up and was like "alright, let's go.." and she looked kinda surprised. I grabbed her shoulder and stuff to lead the way out and she kinda just flopped like a ragdoll onto my chest, and thought I'd give one last crack at it and gave her the look, and we gave each other a quick kiss. If that even means anything.

Walking her back to the gate, a minute or 2 affter she called her Didi ride, I asked to hit her vape for the lols since for some reason I start chainsmoking those things whenever they're around yet never get addicted/withdrawals/etc. long-term - to my surprise she left it and her cigarettes back at the apartment. Talked her into getting them real quick rather than for "next time" (which might not exist) since you can cancel Didi for free right after calling.
There's a lot of random small talk happening this whole time where I'm basically playing the whole "situation" off smooth (I asked if she wanted to just go to another bar or something a few more times) and she asked if I wanted a ONS, and I mentioned that it wasn't actually my intention (it honestly isn't) and that I actually like her (less so now!) and thought coming over and getting bizzay was normal and it seemed like what she wanted/expected.
She didn't come back in (I originally said "you don't even have to come in - we can just grab them" but whether she'd ignore that is anoher question) however on the walk back she grabbed my hand and held it, and all of a started giving me lovey-dovey looks, WTF, and we kissed goodbye (kinda on the cheek but whatever lol) a few different times (you know how it is not leaving after saying goodbye lol). Mixed signals (sometimes girls be capping to get their way out of a situation talking about anything like "next time") during the 5 minute conversation waiting for her ride back but I never lost my cool the whole time and tried to be respectful and hear her out without simping out, for the off chance she actually is more traditional and against ONS.
In retrospect, I should've teased her a lot more and shit like that during the start of the date, but wtf do you expect when it's 1 hour and I thought she seemed dtf before she even walked in (hence why I asked on at least 3 or 4 instances if she just wanted to hang out somewhere for a while longer, but not dice. Maybe she was actually tired, idk. Either that or she doesn't fw me is the way I see it).

So honestly I don't fucking know.
Not a single thing about her (literally besides having both LTR and 'fun dates' on Bumble) was screaming "is hard-no against making out/sex on the first date" and yet her excuses seemed genuine (I'm not very experienced in interpreting the lies and truths of women) and not like it was attraction suddenly dropping and regretting everything - she could hardly keep her eyes off me.
Maybe she just wants a betabuxx BF or something - I don't see how I can actually salvage this situation. I only have experience with the formula of going somewhere -> chilling at my place. Framing things in a different way than some "fool me once, fool me twice" shit seems challenging, because now that's instantly codeword for "are you ready to have sex pretty please???". I liked @Rance's advice of "just ending up" at your place but, while I am a ~15-20 minute from a popular club area, it's still out of the way, + it's like a 5 minute walk from the gate to my place and it's practically impossible to "accidentally" go there in any way shape or form lol (plus slaying in the daytime is kinda awkward on a university campus for obvious reasons given said 5 minute walk lol).

TL;DR the lessons learned are to improve overcoming last-minute resistance + deck out my place some more so that there's something to "do" after getting there. I knew I should've bought some wine or something but I didn't know where to buy glasses so I skipped out on it jfl. I think if I just put something on the fucking TV for half an hour I'd probably be telling a totally different story right now

 

[Rance]

Drunk ramblings date report: FAILURE but redemption is possible. Read it in one go and you get the idea

This girl off Bumble seemed to give off the impression right from the beginning that she found me intimidatingly handsome. We found a lot of stuff to relate about to talk about on wechat the days leading up, but details schmetials. She had a really hot style (one of the main things I look for) and yet also seemed very universally attractive like she could be some kind of TV star. She seemed kind of high class overall so I swapped my fit from a more platonic date earlier that day to something more formal and acted a bit more mature and came in there knowing I'd be leading way since I knew she'd be nervous. Spoiler alert is that this often acts in my detriment. (Spoiler alert) one too many times I've been alone with a girl thinking I sealed the deal and then she actually thinks I wasn't that interested in her or something and wasn't expecting me to escalate even though I in my head thought it was pretty obvious we both found each other hot.

We met at a super chill, hidden bar (my kind of venue, since I like actually hearing people and usually there are less turbo-normies which is nice in China where popular places are often crowded to the brim) and we were the only ones there after a while. She was really nervous - especially since her English wasn't amazing. This is basically a universal excuse most girls have so it'll be pretty crazy if/when I get to B1/B2 mandarin because I can tell girls will open up a lot - talk about motivation. She mentioned how she liked to go clubbing - her style was kinda hooker-ish for lack of a more euphemistic way of saying it; the classic girl who goes clubbing a lot. Hella wechat moments, A lot of IOIs/compliments and she was right up against me the whole time. So all things considered I thought I had this in the fucking bag like I've never seen before, basically every signal was telling me she wanted to hook up (there's more context that would be hard to explain in the type of stuff we talked about on wechat before and the jokes she made, just trust me bro)

I led the conversation for the most part but there's nothing wrong with that if she's introverted. At one point she said she was getting dizzy because she hadn't drank in a while so this threw me off a bit. I kinda planned on going to another bar; we were looking at the map a lot and talking about bars, clubs, etc. a lot of the time so that she could also feed me information - I didn't have another place in mind so I basically gave her the choice (better to just ask yes/no than give choices but whatever) of walking around and going to another bar or checking out my apartment (which I mentioned earlier; "it's pretty nice, I'm decorating it, blablabla') and she pretty readily said she'd like to go to my apartment. So we left after only just an hour of meeting. She was honestly still nervous but, to be honest, I figured she was horny for days, and we could walk it off on the way to my place.

Once we got there, I subconsciously knew that if she didn't "know" then it was probably over, because it's not like I had glasses of wine and I had on idea how to even use the TV to put on a movie or whatever. One of the only things I said after sitting down was like "yeah I don't even know how to use the TV, I've never turned it on" "you want to turn on the TV?" "no... we don't have too..." and so I basically just went right for it and put my arm around her shoulder and stuff but she instantly wasn't receptive at all. Everything started crumbling.

She basically gave exactly what little I remember of a JAV video or something @Rance posted once where she starts shaking her head and acting all cold. I don't remember a lot of the advice at overcoming last-minute resistance (reading @myeyes threads has a lot of "of fucking course" moments right now - I realize I probably should have gone in for a kiss on the neck or something but I guess that felt a little rapey to me in the moment or something jfl) besides to just... kind of ignore the whole head shaking thing and keep going. I kept rubbing her neck, back of her head, brushing her hair while giving fuck me/puppy eyes (not I'm going to rape you eyes) all while intermittently talking a bit (which killed the vibe a bit in retrospect - why wouldn't it - but it felt necessary to lower the anxiety which I subconsciously knew I definitely had to do, while still keeping what sexual polarity was built up (which I thought I had plenty of)), and she was saying stuff like "how many other girls have you done this with?" or "is this normal for you? To be like this the first night you meet someone" and put into her translate app "I didn't know this is what we were going to be doing" but in my head it's like WTF DID YOU EXPECT, A REAL ESTATE TOUR? I DIDN'T EVEN SAY WATCH A MOVIE, I JUST SAID COME OVER LOL.

Her body language really was no't "scared" or closed off at all, I guess moreso like this was some moral dilemma. I kept trying to smooth talk her and said stuff like "you don't have to do anything you don't want to do" to seem less manipulative or whatever, but still no dice. I asked if she wanted to just go back to another bar and keep hanging out for a while since we understandably have only been talking for a fucking hour, but she said she just wanted to go home. She was texting her friend on Wechat a bit the whole date, and when I saw her send a picture of the living room we were in during this, that cortisol spiked me for some reason, so I kind of just felt like a rapist and gave up and was like "alright, let's go.." and she looked kinda surprised. I grabbed her shoulder and stuff to lead the way out and she kinda just flopped like a ragdoll onto my chest, and thought I'd give one last crack at it and gave her the look, and we gave each other a quick kiss. If that even means anything.

Walking her back to the gate, a minute or 2 affter she called her Didi ride, I asked to hit her vape for the lols since for some reason I start chainsmoking those things whenever they're around yet never get addicted/withdrawals/etc. long-term - to my surprise she left it and her cigarettes back at the apartment. Talked her into getting them real quick rather than for "next time" (which might not exist) since you can cancel Didi for free right after calling.
There's a lot of random small talk happening this whole time where I'm basically playing the whole "situation" off smooth (I asked if she wanted to just go to another bar or something a few more times) and she asked if I wanted a ONS, and I mentioned that it wasn't actually my intention (it honestly isn't) and that I actually like her (less so now!) and thought coming over and getting bizzay was normal and it seemed like what she wanted/expected.
She didn't come back in (I originally said "you don't even have to come in - we can just grab them" but whether she'd ignore that is anoher question) however on the walk back she grabbed my hand and held it, and all of a started giving me lovey-dovey looks, WTF, and we kissed goodbye (kinda on the cheek but whatever lol) a few different times (you know how it is not leaving after saying goodbye lol). Mixed signals (sometimes girls be capping to get their way out of a situation talking about anything like "next time") during the 5 minute conversation waiting for her ride back but I never lost my cool the whole time and tried to be respectful and hear her out without simping out, for the off chance she actually is more traditional and against ONS.
In retrospect, I should've teased her a lot more and shit like that during the start of the date, but wtf do you expect when it's 1 hour and I thought she seemed dtf before she even walked in (hence why I asked on at least 3 or 4 instances if she just wanted to hang out somewhere for a while longer, but not dice. Maybe she was actually tired, idk. Either that or she doesn't fw me is the way I see it).

So honestly I don't fucking know.
Not a single thing about her (literally besides having both LTR and 'fun dates' on Bumble) was screaming "is hard-no against making out/sex on the first date" and yet her excuses seemed genuine (I'm not very experienced in interpreting the lies and truths of women) and not like it was attraction suddenly dropping and regretting everything - she could hardly keep her eyes off me.
Maybe she just wants a betabuxx BF or something - I don't see how I can actually salvage this situation. I only have experience with the formula of going somewhere -> chilling at my place. Framing things in a different way than some "fool me once, fool me twice" shit seems challenging, because now that's instantly codeword for "are you ready to have sex pretty please???". I liked @Rance's advice of "just ending up" at your place but, while I am a ~15-20 minute from a popular club area, it's still out of the way, + it's like a 5 minute walk from the gate to my place and it's practically impossible to "accidentally" go there in any way shape or form lol (plus slaying in the daytime is kinda awkward on a university campus for obvious reasons given said 5 minute walk lol).

TL;DR the lessons learned are to improve overcoming last-minute resistance + deck out my place some more so that there's something to "do" after getting there. I knew I should've bought some wine or something but I didn't know where to buy glasses so I skipped out on it jfl. I think if I just put something on the fucking TV for half an hour I'd probably be telling a totally different story right now

Will reply with my ideas but my girl is in the shower and I only had enough time to read this and write this quick sentence. General impression tho is that this doesn't sound as bad as you might think. stay tuned lol

 

[Orientalist]

Will reply with my ideas but my girl is in the shower and I only had enough time to read this and write this quick sentence. General impression tho is that this doesn't sound as bad as you might think. stay tuned lol

I definitely kept most of the momentum. The real question is how to prevent getting whipped on a 2nd date and how to proceed with escalation, especially with PDA taboo being a potential cockblock. It happened to me before with another Chinese girl (albeit a much more pure one) a long time ago: it was instant chemistry, a kiss the first night, then went out the morning after and she practically fell in love with me and made out with no tongue allowed - but after seeing each other again after a few weeks, no further escalation past that was even slightly reciprocated any time we hung out (albeit we were always in public) and things sexually/romantically speaking fizzled out to nothing over the course of a few days. I swear Chinese girls just shut down and have no sex drive unless they're at peak ovulation or something. I don't know how to make them evolve

 

[myeyes]

Drunk ramblings date report: FAILURE but redemption is possible. Read it in one go and you get the idea

This girl off Bumble seemed to give off the impression right from the beginning that she found me intimidatingly handsome. We found a lot of stuff to relate about to talk about on wechat the days leading up, but details schmetials. She had a really hot style (one of the main things I look for) and yet also seemed very universally attractive like she could be some kind of TV star. She seemed kind of high class overall so I swapped my fit from a more platonic date earlier that day to something more formal and acted a bit more mature and came in there knowing I'd be leading way since I knew she'd be nervous. Spoiler alert is that this often acts in my detriment. (Spoiler alert) one too many times I've been alone with a girl thinking I sealed the deal and then she actually thinks I wasn't that interested in her or something and wasn't expecting me to escalate even though I in my head thought it was pretty obvious we both found each other hot.

We met at a super chill, hidden bar (my kind of venue, since I like actually hearing people and usually there are less turbo-normies which is nice in China where popular places are often crowded to the brim) and we were the only ones there after a while. She was really nervous - especially since her English wasn't amazing. This is basically a universal excuse most girls have so it'll be pretty crazy if/when I get to B1/B2 mandarin because I can tell girls will open up a lot - talk about motivation. She mentioned how she liked to go clubbing - her style was kinda hooker-ish for lack of a more euphemistic way of saying it; the classic girl who goes clubbing a lot. Hella wechat moments, A lot of IOIs/compliments and she was right up against me the whole time. So all things considered I thought I had this in the fucking bag like I've never seen before, basically every signal was telling me she wanted to hook up (there's more context that would be hard to explain in the type of stuff we talked about on wechat before and the jokes she made, just trust me bro)

I led the conversation for the most part but there's nothing wrong with that if she's introverted. At one point she said she was getting dizzy because she hadn't drank in a while so this threw me off a bit. I kinda planned on going to another bar; we were looking at the map a lot and talking about bars, clubs, etc. a lot of the time so that she could also feed me information - I didn't have another place in mind so I basically gave her the choice (better to just ask yes/no than give choices but whatever) of walking around and going to another bar or checking out my apartment (which I mentioned earlier; "it's pretty nice, I'm decorating it, blablabla') and she pretty readily said she'd like to go to my apartment. So we left after only just an hour of meeting. She was honestly still nervous but, to be honest, I figured she was horny for days, and we could walk it off on the way to my place.

Once we got there, I subconsciously knew that if she didn't "know" then it was probably over, because it's not like I had glasses of wine and I had on idea how to even use the TV to put on a movie or whatever. One of the only things I said after sitting down was like "yeah I don't even know how to use the TV, I've never turned it on" "you want to turn on the TV?" "no... we don't have too..." and so I basically just went right for it and put my arm around her shoulder and stuff but she instantly wasn't receptive at all. Everything started crumbling.

She basically gave exactly what little I remember of a JAV video or something @Rance posted once where she starts shaking her head and acting all cold. I don't remember a lot of the advice at overcoming last-minute resistance (reading @myeyes threads has a lot of "of fucking course" moments right now - I realize I probably should have gone in for a kiss on the neck or something but I guess that felt a little rapey to me in the moment or something jfl) besides to just... kind of ignore the whole head shaking thing and keep going. I kept rubbing her neck, back of her head, brushing her hair while giving fuck me/puppy eyes (not I'm going to rape you eyes) all while intermittently talking a bit (which killed the vibe a bit in retrospect - why wouldn't it - but it felt necessary to lower the anxiety which I subconsciously knew I definitely had to do, while still keeping what sexual polarity was built up (which I thought I had plenty of)), and she was saying stuff like "how many other girls have you done this with?" or "is this normal for you? To be like this the first night you meet someone" and put into her translate app "I didn't know this is what we were going to be doing" but in my head it's like WTF DID YOU EXPECT, A REAL ESTATE TOUR? I DIDN'T EVEN SAY WATCH A MOVIE, I JUST SAID COME OVER LOL.

Her body language really was no't "scared" or closed off at all, I guess moreso like this was some moral dilemma. I kept trying to smooth talk her and said stuff like "you don't have to do anything you don't want to do" to seem less manipulative or whatever, but still no dice. I asked if she wanted to just go back to another bar and keep hanging out for a while since we understandably have only been talking for a fucking hour, but she said she just wanted to go home. She was texting her friend on Wechat a bit the whole date, and when I saw her send a picture of the living room we were in during this, that cortisol spiked me for some reason, so I kind of just felt like a rapist and gave up and was like "alright, let's go.." and she looked kinda surprised. I grabbed her shoulder and stuff to lead the way out and she kinda just flopped like a ragdoll onto my chest, and thought I'd give one last crack at it and gave her the look, and we gave each other a quick kiss. If that even means anything.

Walking her back to the gate, a minute or 2 affter she called her Didi ride, I asked to hit her vape for the lols since for some reason I start chainsmoking those things whenever they're around yet never get addicted/withdrawals/etc. long-term - to my surprise she left it and her cigarettes back at the apartment. Talked her into getting them real quick rather than for "next time" (which might not exist) since you can cancel Didi for free right after calling.

Man getting rejected on the bed is brutal and makes you feel like absolute shit after. It’s happened to me twice here in Bangkok in 3 months. I think you’re referring to the “Mystery Method” LMR thread I posted, and while it does work really well, sometimes the girl just doesn’t want to have sex with you and there’s nothing you can do.

Personally I don’t go on another date with the girl after this happens. I feel like if she was attracted to you she would sleep with you, or say “maybe next time ”
In my experience further dates lead to getting ghosted later (and losing money and time) or a sad betabuxx relationship, both have happened to me in the past.

 

[Orientalist]

Man getting rejected on the bed is brutal and makes you feel like absolute shit after. It’s happened to me twice here in Bangkok in 3 months. I think you’re referring to the “Mystery Method” LMR thread I posted, and while it does work really well, sometimes the girl just doesn’t want to have sex with you and there’s nothing you can do.

Personally I don’t go on another date with the girl after this happens. I feel like if she was attracted to you she would sleep with you, or say “maybe next time ”
In my experience further dates lead to getting ghosted later (and losing money and time) or a sad betabuxx relationship, both have happened to me in the past.

Might be a good idea to just play hot and cold game and kinda ignore her considering she’s still messaging me

 

[myeyes]

Might be a good idea to just play hot and cold game and kinda ignore her considering she’s still messaging me

I haven’t done that in a while because I’m trying to find a gf, but if you don’t care much about her it’s worth a try; nothing to lose

 

[Rance]

Drunk ramblings date report: FAILURE but redemption is possible. Read it in one go and you get the idea

This girl off Bumble seemed to give off the impression right from the beginning that she found me intimidatingly handsome. We found a lot of stuff to relate about to talk about on wechat the days leading up, but details schmetials. She had a really hot style (one of the main things I look for) and yet also seemed very universally attractive like she could be some kind of TV star. She seemed kind of high class overall so I swapped my fit from a more platonic date earlier that day to something more formal and acted a bit more mature and came in there knowing I'd be leading way since I knew she'd be nervous. Spoiler alert is that this often acts in my detriment. (Spoiler alert) one too many times I've been alone with a girl thinking I sealed the deal and then she actually thinks I wasn't that interested in her or something and wasn't expecting me to escalate even though I in my head thought it was pretty obvious we both found each other hot.

We met at a super chill, hidden bar (my kind of venue, since I like actually hearing people and usually there are less turbo-normies which is nice in China where popular places are often crowded to the brim) and we were the only ones there after a while. She was really nervous - especially since her English wasn't amazing. This is basically a universal excuse most girls have so it'll be pretty crazy if/when I get to B1/B2 mandarin because I can tell girls will open up a lot - talk about motivation. She mentioned how she liked to go clubbing - her style was kinda hooker-ish for lack of a more euphemistic way of saying it; the classic girl who goes clubbing a lot. Hella wechat moments, A lot of IOIs/compliments and she was right up against me the whole time. So all things considered I thought I had this in the fucking bag like I've never seen before, basically every signal was telling me she wanted to hook up (there's more context that would be hard to explain in the type of stuff we talked about on wechat before and the jokes she made, just trust me bro)

I led the conversation for the most part but there's nothing wrong with that if she's introverted. At one point she said she was getting dizzy because she hadn't drank in a while so this threw me off a bit. I kinda planned on going to another bar; we were looking at the map a lot and talking about bars, clubs, etc. a lot of the time so that she could also feed me information - I didn't have another place in mind so I basically gave her the choice (better to just ask yes/no than give choices but whatever) of walking around and going to another bar or checking out my apartment (which I mentioned earlier; "it's pretty nice, I'm decorating it, blablabla') and she pretty readily said she'd like to go to my apartment. So we left after only just an hour of meeting. She was honestly still nervous but, to be honest, I figured she was horny for days, and we could walk it off on the way to my place.

...

Ok, my general impression is that you didn't do anything wrong. I was in almost the exact same situation with a girl I met on HT a couple years ago. My mistake was that I didn't escalate quite enough. Thing is though, we hung out twice again and it eventually ended up working, in fact with a threesome with my sort of gf at the time.

Next steps are twofold: one, you have to deck out your place. Shell out for a TV, you should be able to get one for about 1000 RMB. Or get a projector for about 200 RMB on Taobao. I got a projector and it stopped working and was kind of shitty, so I do recommend going the TV route. Get some wine. Buy some electric candles. Shit like that, really overhaul your apartment.

Two, you have to use your upgraded apartment as a hook. Like you say, your apartment is a little distant in terms of proximity, and you've lost a little bit of the reason to go there, since she's already been there. You can use your apartment makeover as the reason. Joke about it, say how barebones your apartment was last time, but this time, she won't believe her eyes.

I do remember rambling to my friends like you are now... soon, I stopped, because I stopped caring. I stopped caring because the volume got high enough to where it didn't matter whether a girl got flaky at the last moment. Just keep more girls on your roster.

 

[Pained4ever]

Ok, my general impression is that you didn't do anything wrong. I was in almost the exact same situation with a girl I met on HT a couple years ago. My mistake was that I didn't escalate quite enough. Thing is though, we hung out twice again and it eventually ended up working, in fact with a threesome with my sort of gf at the time.

Next steps are twofold: one, you have to deck out your place. Shell out for a TV, you should be able to get one for about 1000 RMB. Or get a projector for about 200 RMB on Taobao. I got a projector and it stopped working and was kind of shitty, so I do recommend going the TV route. Get some wine. Buy some electric candles. Shit like that, really overhaul your apartment.

Two, you have to use your upgraded apartment as a hook. Like you say, your apartment is a little distant in terms of proximity, and you've lost a little bit of the reason to go there, since she's already been there. You can use your apartment makeover as the reason. Joke about it, say how barebones your apartment was last time, but this time, she won't believe her eyes.

I do remember rambling to my friends like you are now... soon, I stopped, because I stopped caring. I stopped caring because the volume got high enough to where it didn't matter whether a girl got flaky at the last moment. Just keep more girls on your roster.

hello rance