ive never approached a girl irl

myeyes said:
And online dating isn’t?
Click to expand...
Online dating you can swipe from the comfort of behind your phone screen, and have more efficiency
Even if you get 0 matches you don't have to go through the humiliation of "the first 100 cold approaches was just a warmup bro"
Cause honestly it's all face
Better to save your energy and dignity, especially if you're not 6+ psl
 
Oppositegenderattracter32 said:
Online dating you can swipe from the comfort of behind your phone screen, and have more efficiency
Even if you get 0 matches you don't have to go through the humiliation of "the first 100 cold approaches was just a warmup bro"
Cause honestly it's all face
Better to save your energy and dignity, especially if you're not 6+ psl
Click to expand...
Personality I think they’re both humiliation rituals in different ways. The up front humiliation of approaching is higher but behaviour is better once you pass the beginning stage.

On the other hand online dating fries women’s brains worse than porn does to men and the general behaviour and disrespect to men‘s time on the apps is awful. Ghosting and flakiness is higher too even if you do get the date, but you’re right in that it’s from the comfort of your own home. Unless you are paying for premium and the money is coming from the discomfort of your job
 
Some of you guys are missing out with not doing day game. Yeah it's a bit awkward at first if you haven't done it before but thats normal. Like going to the gym or learning a language, it's a skill that you build up over time and getting rejected is just part of the process. At least for me, the trade off was worth leaving my comfort zone. I'll echo what a lot of other guys have said in that it's one of the best ways to meet women. Plus cold approaching is a useful skill and
gets you more comfortable with talking to strangers in general.

In the US, since women are mostly a waste of time and the volume of attractive girls can be low, it probably wont be as lucrative. However, in places like Asia there's no good excuse not to do it. The potential pros beat out the risk of humiliation and its very rare that you will get blown out by a girl. Also at the end of the day people for the most part dont really care too much about you if they see you approaching. Of course there are exceptions like if you are in a really conservative place, or it's the girlfriend of a guy watching or you are talking to more than a few girls in the same area in a short amount of time. Otherwise most people are too self absorbed and probably wont even remember you a couple days later. Same goes for the girls if they reject you.

Not approaching means missing out on plenty of girls in malls and parks that you otherwise wouldn't meet as many of them dont make themselves available on apps and who would have higher standards if you were to first deal with them there. Plus you don't have to compete with her getting inundated with legions of simps.
Although granted its probably a bit better with non dating apps that can be used for dating like Hellotalk. Anyways even if you arent that good looking, you're still going to likely get better quality irl vs on apps and deal with less flaking.
 
Yuezhi said:
Some of you guys are missing out with not doing day game. Yeah it's a bit awkward at first if you haven't done it before but thats normal. Like going to the gym or learning a language, it's a skill that you build up over time and getting rejected is just part of the process. At least for me, the trade off was worth leaving my comfort zone. I'll echo what a lot of other guys have said in that it's one of the best ways to meet women. Plus cold approaching is a useful skill and
gets you more comfortable with talking to strangers in general.

In the US, since women are mostly a waste of time and the volume of attractive girls can be low, it probably wont be as lucrative. However, in places like Asia there's no good excuse not to do it. The potential pros beat out the risk of humiliation and its very rare that you will get blown out by a girl. Also at the end of the day people for the most part dont really care too much about you if they see you approaching. Of course there are exceptions like if you are in a really conservative place, or it's the girlfriend of a guy watching or you are talking to more than a few girls in the same area in a short amount of time. Otherwise most people are too self absorbed and probably wont even remember you a couple days later. Same goes for the girls if they reject you.

Not approaching means missing out on plenty of girls in malls and parks that you otherwise wouldn't meet as many of them dont make themselves available on apps and who would have higher standards if you were to first deal with them there. Plus you don't have to compete with her getting inundated with legions of simps.
Although granted its probably a bit better with non dating apps that can be used for dating like Hellotalk. Anyways even if you arent that good looking, you're still going to likely get better quality irl vs on apps and deal with less flaking.
Click to expand...
if youre subchad approaching foids is futile
 
Yuezhi said:
Some of you guys are missing out with not doing day game. Yeah it's a bit awkward at first if you haven't done it before but thats normal. Like going to the gym or learning a language, it's a skill that you build up over time and getting rejected is just part of the process. At least for me, the trade off was worth leaving my comfort zone. I'll echo what a lot of other guys have said in that it's one of the best ways to meet women. Plus cold approaching is a useful skill and
gets you more comfortable with talking to strangers in general.

In the US, since women are mostly a waste of time and the volume of attractive girls can be low, it probably wont be as lucrative. However, in places like Asia there's no good excuse not to do it. The potential pros beat out the risk of humiliation and its very rare that you will get blown out by a girl. Also at the end of the day people for the most part dont really care too much about you if they see you approaching. Of course there are exceptions like if you are in a really conservative place, or it's the girlfriend of a guy watching or you are talking to more than a few girls in the same area in a short amount of time. Otherwise most people are too self absorbed and probably wont even remember you a couple days later. Same goes for the girls if they reject you.

Not approaching means missing out on plenty of girls in malls and parks that you otherwise wouldn't meet as many of them dont make themselves available on apps and who would have higher standards if you were to first deal with them there. Plus you don't have to compete with her getting inundated with legions of simps.
Although granted its probably a bit better with non dating apps that can be used for dating like Hellotalk. Anyways even if you arent that good looking, you're still going to likely get better quality irl vs on apps and deal with less flaking.
Click to expand...
I’m scared twin
 
Yuezhi said:
Some of you guys are missing out with not doing day game. Yeah it's a bit awkward at first if you haven't done it before but thats normal. Like going to the gym or learning a language, it's a skill that you build up over time and getting rejected is just part of the process. At least for me, the trade off was worth leaving my comfort zone. I'll echo what a lot of other guys have said in that it's one of the best ways to meet women. Plus cold approaching is a useful skill and
gets you more comfortable with talking to strangers in general.

In the US, since women are mostly a waste of time and the volume of attractive girls can be low, it probably wont be as lucrative. However, in places like Asia there's no good excuse not to do it. The potential pros beat out the risk of humiliation and its very rare that you will get blown out by a girl. Also at the end of the day people for the most part dont really care too much about you if they see you approaching. Of course there are exceptions like if you are in a really conservative place, or it's the girlfriend of a guy watching or you are talking to more than a few girls in the same area in a short amount of time. Otherwise most people are too self absorbed and probably wont even remember you a couple days later. Same goes for the girls if they reject you.

Not approaching means missing out on plenty of girls in malls and parks that you otherwise wouldn't meet as many of them dont make themselves available on apps and who would have higher standards if you were to first deal with them there. Plus you don't have to compete with her getting inundated with legions of simps.
Although granted its probably a bit better with non dating apps that can be used for dating like Hellotalk. Anyways even if you arent that good looking, you're still going to likely get better quality irl vs on apps and deal with less flaking.
Click to expand...
Yuezhi said:
Dont let the longhoused anglosphere poison your mentality. It's still a normal world in the East.
Click to expand...
There's no day game for your face, I hope it's true what your saying though, but then again Japan and Korea with the exception of China are western sphere industrialized countries so I don't really believe you, unless you're talking about southeast Asia.
Even if you approach they are most likely using dating apps anyways and have wide range of options, so unless youre mogging whoever she's matching with, you're probably not going to land anything.
 
Orientalist said:
I cold approached and the next morning I woke up to the feds knocking on my door detaining me and my visa was promptly canceled and I was banned from the country! Never geomaxxing to Pyongyang again
Click to expand...
Mogged by Kim jong un - a literal god
 
Oppositegenderattracter32 said:
There's no day game for your face, I hope it's true what your saying though, but then again Japan and Korea with the exception of China are western sphere industrialized countries so I don't really believe you, unless you're talking about southeast Asia.
Even if you approach they are most likely using dating apps anyways and have wide range of options, so unless youre mogging whoever she's matching with, you're probably not going to land anything.
Click to expand...
Its not that bad unless you are actually chopped even then you can gain muscle and dress better which will still boost your smv. If you fall into that category you're going to simply have to lower your standards and go for MTB even if you work on yourself.

I don't see the argument for online apps in that case though since id imagine it will mostly likely be a lot harder for you than the alternative unless you want to fraud but that might not pan out well for you when you actually meet up with a girl. Also not every girl uses dating apps despite what you might believe. Even if they do you will potentially stick out more to her by taking to her irl her which is something that most other guys won't do.

Yeah I'm referring to SEA and China which is where I have been. However from what other guys are saying here and on other places it doesn't sound like it's apocalyptic in places like Korea and Japan, far from it actually. Although guys like @Rance can correct me if I'm wrong.
 
On a seperate but related note if one is really socially awkward it might not work well at first but at that point they'd be better off getting comfortable with just talking to people first by using elderly openers or joining social activities. Learn to crawl before you can walk. The good news is that the language and cultural barrier in a lot of these places will make it hard for a girl to tell.

Unless you have severe autism or something else that's debilitating its not over for you. Learning social skills and game is possible. I myself was diagnosed with high functioning autism as a child and didn't get laid till 21 in China even though I had some girls hit on me in high school and earlier in college but was clueless back then. What I did was work on myself and pushed myself to learn social skills and now even psychologists can't tell that I have it. Admittedly I still struggle in the US a lot but that's normal for most guys these days and being slightly overweight probably doesn't help.

Anyways even then there's always the true and tried method of going to the Philippines(don't go to Manila though) or maybe Indonesia as a last resort.
 
Yuezhi said:
On a seperate but related note if one is really socially awkward it might not work well at first but at that point they'd be better off getting comfortable with just talking to people first by using elderly openers or joining social activities. Learn to crawl before you can walk. The good news is that the language and cultural barrier in a lot of these places will make it hard for a girl to tell.

Unless you have severe autism or something else that's debilitating its not over for you. Learning social skills and game is possible. I myself was diagnosed with high functioning autism as a child and didn't get laid till 21 in China even though I had some girls hit on me in high school and earlier in college but was clueless back then. What I did was work on myself and pushed myself to learn social skills and now even psychologists can't tell that I have it. Admittedly I still struggle in the US a lot but that's normal for most guys these days and being slightly overweight probably doesn't help.

Anyways even then there's always the true and tried method of going to the Philippines(don't go to Manila though) or maybe Indonesia as a last resort.
Click to expand...
Difficulty comparison of USA compared to China?
I'm in usa and it would take pulling teeth to have an mtb here tbh.
 
Yuezhi said:
Its not that bad unless you are actually chopped even then you can gain muscle and dress better which will still boost your smv. If you fall into that category you're going to simply have to lower your standards and go for MTB even if you work on yourself.

I don't see the argument for online apps in that case though since id imagine it will mostly likely be a lot harder for you than the alternative unless you want to fraud but that might not pan out well for you when you actually meet up with a girl. Also not every girl uses dating apps despite what you might believe. Even if they do you will potentially stick out more to her by taking to her irl her which is something that most other guys won't do.

Yeah I'm referring to SEA and China which is where I have been. However from what other guys are saying here and on other places it doesn't sound like it's apocalyptic in places like Korea and Japan, far from it actually. Although guys like @Rance can correct me if I'm wrong.
Click to expand...
Lower standards and go for mtb?

Newsflash buddy, we living in the big 25. The only thing separating mtb and htb is subjectivity

Gonna have to go lower. LTB
 
Oppositegenderattracter32 said:
There's no day game for your face, I hope it's true what your saying though, but then again Japan and Korea with the exception of China are western sphere industrialized countries so I don't really believe you, unless you're talking about southeast Asia.
Even if you approach they are most likely using dating apps anyways and have wide range of options, so unless youre mogging whoever she's matching with, you're probably not going to land anything.
Click to expand...
Nah bro, most girls aren’t using dating apps, the statistics say it’s all men. And you’re right most have options, but if you cold approach in Asia there’s an ocean of 7.5-8/10 shy girls with 60 ig followers who work and go home, and there’s basically no competition, you just walk up to them and give them their first taste of romance in 2 years and (if they’re attracted to you) they get immediately hooked and mega attached

There’s also a smaller ocean of part time IG models who avoid the apps because they put the guys on the apps in the same category as the creepy guys who dm them in their socials.

I have limited experience with cold approach but these are two categories of women you basically can’t find on the apps unless you’re a giga chad
 
Yuezhi said:
Anyways even then there's always the true and tried method of going to the Philippines(don't go to Manila though) or maybe Indonesia as a last resort.
Click to expand...
Nah Manila is the best because there’s actually middle class girls there

The rest is just jungle monkeys who have syphilis and other such diseases and take showers with buckets
 
myeyes said:
You would have success with the shy / mildly autistic girls who work and go home and want to spice up their life with some dredded chocolate (completely serious)
Click to expand...
Interesting if true

Let’s have a geomax conference in the heart of Bangkok!

I’ll be taking lyrica along with 333ml of an iced latte in preparation
 
I just don't see the point of scrutinizing the efficacy of cold approach, dating apps, or the comparison between them. Simply talk to girls you see throughout your day. In Japan, at least, they are usually charmed and more than happy to have a conversation. Even if you only line up dates with 5% of the people you talk to, who cares? Are you so introverted that you don't enjoy a nice chat with a pretty woman as you're going about your day? It takes no time and no effort.
 
Rance said:
Are you so introverted that you don't enjoy a nice chat with a pretty woman as you're going about your day? It takes no time and no effort.
Click to expand...
Yes tbh, also have an insane aversion to rejection and being seen as a pest which makes cold approach a monumental task.

That being said this is 100% something I will fix in the future as cold approach is undoubtedly the meta.

This is especially clear after living in Tokyo where there is an endless amount of cute stylemaxxed hmtb’s (peak my type) in basically any given area and time, and realistically less than 1% of these girls are on dating apps or flooded with male attention.
 
Rance said:
Are you so introverted that you don't enjoy a nice chat with a pretty woman as you're going about your day? It takes no time and no effort.
Click to expand...
This is the real key point behind people who are too socially cooked to know how to properly flirt or ask a girl out. Even both words in the very phrase "cold approach" starts off on the wrong foot
 
Why bother even trying when I know what the results will be… misery along with attempting to fraud as nt

109 groups of normies have kicked me out of their circle…

that’s why I just swipe left on girls that like me….saving myself the trouble of going thru the ringer
 
cool said:
Yes tbh, also have an insane aversion to rejection and being seen as a pest which makes cold approach a monumental task.

That being said this is 100% something I will fix in the future as cold approach is undoubtedly the meta.

This is especially clear after living in Tokyo where there is an endless amount of cute stylemaxxed hmtb’s (peak my type) in basically any given area and time, and realistically less than 1% of these girls are on dating apps or flooded with male attention.
Click to expand...
I had a similar kind of phobia. I think most Western guys do nowadays. Nobody wants to be the creep.

Tokyo confers a whole lot of benefits that helped me approach habitually and naturally. The most powerful is that my SMV boost coming from the West massively improved the outcomes of interactions even when those interactions stayed platonic. When I approached girls in the U.S. I'd get a kind of "uhh, wtf are you doing" vibe off them. In Japan, even when the girl's not interested, it's a kind of "haha, better luck next time!" playfulness. In the true blackpill fashion, much comes down to looks, and when I'm in Japan I am the guy who looks like he is "supposed" to be approaching girls, whereas I don't quite meet the SMV requirement to be "that guy" in the West.

Another benefit I've beaten to death on this forum: nanpa is socially acceptable. Girls go out expecting to be approached by guys. Many women meet their partners from a guy who came up to them on the street or in a non-social venue.

Another benefit yet is the "gaijin pass", a term I'm sure you're familiar with, so awkward or unsocial interactions can be waved off more easily.

A final benefit, similar to the gaijin pass, is the language barrier obscuring any non-NT tendencies you might have.

Above all else the thing that changed my feelings was when I internalized that girls WANT me to approach them, and are genuinely better off for me having approached them.
 
Last edited:
Rance said:
I had a similar kind of phobia. I think most Western guys do nowadays. Nobody wants to be the creep.

Tokyo confers a whole lot of benefits that helped me approach habitually and naturally. The most powerful is that my SMV boost coming from the West massively improved the outcomes of interactions even when those interactions stayed platonic. When I approached girls in the U.S. I'd get a kind of "uhh, wtf are you doing" vibe off them. In Japan, even when the girl's not interested, it's a kind of "haha, better luck next time!" playfulness. In the true blackpill fashion, much comes down to looks, and when I'm in Japan I am the guy who looks like he is "supposed" to be approaching girls, whereas I don't quite meet the SMV requirement to be "that guy" in the West.

Another benefit I've beaten to death on this forum: nanpa is socially acceptable. Girls go out expecting to be approached by guys. Many women meet their partners from a guy who came up to them on the street or in a non-social venue.

Another benefit yet is the "gaijin pass", a term I'm sure you're familiar with, so awkward or unsocial interactions can be waved off more easily.

A final benefit, similar to the gaijin pass, is the language barrier obscuring any non-NT tendencies you might have.

Above all else the thing that changed my feelings was when I internalized that girls WANT me to approach them, and are genuinely better off for me having approached them.
Click to expand...
Look up the difference between Honne and Tatemae
Obviously if you approach a girl and she thinks you're a weird creep she's not going to say that, she'll just smile and go with it hoping she can leave the interaction asap
American girls in particular just generally have underdeveloped superegos and are more blunt culturally
All the difference boils down to looks relative to your competition and JBW
So yes I do believe you but nanpa is not acceptable in any country unless you're relatively gl

Ugly sub5 doing nanpa: "ewww why is he talking to me. I really wish ugly guys like him would stop approaching me. Ugh ok I'll just smile and say I have a boyfriend and maybe he'll go away."

6'3 chad doing nanpa approach: "oooh look at him omg yes"

That's personally why I would never bother with cold approaching. Why would a male, the unselective gender, go out blindly approaching females, the extremely selective gender. Its like owning a Walmart franchise and approaching random people on the street asking them if they would like to work for you. The only worthwhile effective methods in my opinion are instagrammaxing and talking to girls who approach you or give ioi only.
 
Last edited:
AlexBrown84 said:
Nah Manila is the best because there’s actually middle class girls there

The rest is just jungle monkeys who have syphilis and other such diseases and take showers with buckets
Click to expand...
Fair enough didn't really like it too much but it's true that the rest of the country is a dump. The thing is that some of those girls are westernized nowadays and there are a bunch of other foreign dudes in the nicer areas driving the expectations up of the girls there. Will likely be a better experience though if one avoids girls from Makati and BGC and maybe goes to areas like Quezon city or Ortigas.

AlexBrown84 said:
My case
Click to expand...
Well you seem to do well in Asia regardless
 
Rance said:
I had a similar kind of phobia. I think most Western guys do nowadays. Nobody wants to be the creep.

Tokyo confers a whole lot of benefits that helped me approach habitually and naturally. The most powerful is that my SMV boost coming from the West massively improved the outcomes of interactions even when those interactions stayed platonic. When I approached girls in the U.S. I'd get a kind of "uhh, wtf are you doing" vibe off them. In Japan, even when the girl's not interested, it's a kind of "haha, better luck next time!" playfulness. In the true blackpill fashion, much comes down to looks, and when I'm in Japan I am the guy who looks like he is "supposed" to be approaching girls, whereas I don't quite meet the SMV requirement to be "that guy" in the West.

Another benefit I've beaten to death on this forum: nanpa is socially acceptable. Girls go out expecting to be approached by guys. Many women meet their partners from a guy who came up to them on the street or in a non-social venue.
Click to expand...
Very true, there is a slight stigma against approaching strangers especially if you're not in the bigger American cities these days. The screwed up dating market where guys SMVs are effectively depressed definitely doesn't help either when it comes to cold approach.

Japan sounds pretty dope though.
I'd consider it if the teaching wages were higher and if there wasn't a prevalent cheating culture which is off-putting to me if I want to pursue something more serious. Also doesn't help that every guy and their mom wants to teach there making it crazy competitive for the actual intl school jobs hence why the salaries suck.

Rance said:
Above all else the thing that changed my feelings was when I internalized that girls WANT me to approach them, and are genuinely better off for me having approached them.
Click to expand...

Based
 
Orientalist said:

🥀💔​

View attachment 11356
Click to expand...
Nice photo of my wingman

No but seriously there will always be an excuse not to approach. Girls won't mind helping the lost and confused foreigner find a noodle house or coffee shop. This actually is a good example of what Roosh talked about where girls will feel fulfilled at performing a good deed for the day.

What you can also do is select a random place you're interested in trying and ask for her opinion on the place as a local and if there's something similiar that shed reccomend over that one or is closer by or whatever. From there you can segway into what you're doing in her country and she'll prob ask questions if shes interested and then you can ask for the gram or push for an insta date at the place you asked for directions.
 
The fear of approaching is rooted in subconscious Western feminist Jewish propaganda behaviour. You owe it to yourself to approach even if they think you’re a creep so you can break out of your feminist programming and destroy the gynocracy!!!!
 
Oppositegenderattracter32 said:
That's personally why I would never bother with cold approaching. Why would a male, the unselective gender, go out blindly approaching females, the extremely selective gender. Its like owning a Walmart franchise and approaching random people on the street asking them if they would like to work for you. The only worthwhile effective methods in my opinion are instagrammaxing and talking to girls who approach you or give ioi only.
Click to expand...
logically it makes sense what you say.

but biologically? look at birds for example. females are super selective, but males cold approach and jester all the time and don't really care if it doesn't work.


maybe we have become too intelligent and sensitive to not care...
 
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